Thursday, May 24, 2012

Self Analysis: Overcharged

A lot of things just clicked into place in my head.  There are a number of negative habits I have (fidgeting, picking at/destroying things, paranoia, anxiety, being pathologically unable to do homework unless isolated and sleep deprived) all of which seemed like disparate things, but I think they're all rooted in a single cause.  Built up energy.  The sensation of all of these negative behaviors can be described in terms of being overcharged, on edge, or that strange sensation of feeling that I may at any moment undergo a violent electric discharge and fire a bolt of lightening at something.  The symptoms are likewise manic and suggest that I have too much energy.  For a period of around two months I stopped all caffeine consumption in an effort to reduce social anxiety, and it worked to some degree.  I abandoned this prohibition in order to tackle the increasingly hectic workload that occurs at the end of the quarter, but I think it should be undertaken again.  More to the point I need to make an effort to burn off this energy.  It seems that once again the solution to a mental health issue is physical.  Sleep and diet help to rid me of depression.  I think completing the trifecta with exercise will help to cleanse the anxiety/mania issues.


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