The Deamon King

This is an AIM conversation I had with Yonaton a while ago. It's a funny story for everyone who isn't me, and I almost lost this story. I manged to find it in one of my obscure gmail accounts, I place it here for my records.

Max Willson: yonaton when and if you get this message I need help. I saw a roach, blowgunned it, and have a serious serious problem. I now have a roach pinned to the carpet in teh living room. It's still squirrming too. That's what freaks me out the most. It's got 4 pieces of metal the length of its entire body pierced through it. It also has assumed a disturbingly "Jesus on the Cross" look. I'd feel bad if I wasn't so freaked out. So, in essence, how do I manage to remove the roach that I'm still extremelly scarred of while it's sittting there being cruicified on the carpet of the living room
*** Auto-response sent to Max Willson: 713-725-9413
Max Willson: ok, this has gone from bad to worse, I decided to behead it with a knife from teh nearby kitchen in order to silence the unholy monster. It worked perfectly, but its headless body is still flailing HOLY SHIT MAN. Seriously if you have any idea how to kill these things let me, because I've tried everything short off firearms, and my Moms 37 special is looking more and more tempting
Max Willson: on the plus side without a head it no longer looks like the crucified messiagh
Max Willson: What kind of creature is this? I've cut it into three pieces and even as I gathered the torn remains it fought
Max Willson: It fought on an on against the overwhelming foe
Max Willson: Turely this is the beast of hell. It was no mistake that they were given the ability to survive the nuclear apocalypse, for they shall be the swarm kings of the damnation that follows
Max Willson: May God have mercy on us all
me: i'm saving that
me: LOL
me: Josh and I love it
Max Willson: Thank you
Max Willson: I've managed to deal with it
Max Willson: but I'm pretty sure I'm having at least one nightmare about the rapture and then being subverted to the roach overlords
me: lol
me: u are the man
Max Willson: Considering I'm a sweaty hevily disheveled person who took 40 minutes a blowgun 6 darts and a butchers knife to kill a roach, I agree
Max Willson: because I killed the Demon king
me: lol
Max Willson: I'll feel triumphant once the motral peril wears off
me: lol
me: ok i need to run for a bit, but i am copying this convo to an email since josh loves it so much