Real

I don't want to talk about this. I'm not going to answer any questions about this. I'm not even certain I should be blogging this, but I want this to be recorded.

It's amazing how powerful heartbreak can be; even if you've never met the other person face to face, and it's amazing how much it can hurt even if you know that you're doing the right thing.

I'm not going to use real names. You trusted me with you name and I trusted you with mine, and I'm not going to violate that, but I have something that must be said.

NocturnalDeva I love you.

I do, and I have, and I always will. You gave me hope in life, you showed me that true beauty exists in this world and you helped me beat back my corrosion of my own embitterment if even just a little bit. Words can never express how I feel about you, actions can never repay what I owe to you. It was only because I felt this strongly for you that I was able to tell you to be with him. From the first moment you mentioned him it was clear, and no matter how much it pains me I can't stand in the way of that.

And I'm happy. My unenlightened torment will pass, but I hope that your bliss will never end. Someday if you find this blog, and read this passage, know that I did everything I did out of love, even as I withdrew from your life know that I acted with your happiness in mind.

-Maximilian "ArcaneInsane" Willson