Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Halls

Part 1: Tide.

There's arisen a solution to nearly every problem related to items that anyone has in the building. Throw it in the hall. You have to understand that while the rooms may maintain some level of stability the sheer volume of people and things that flow through the halls give them a tide of their own. I once considered the floor of my room to have a similar effect, which is why everything on the bottom shelf in my room is something large and hard to injure. The Tide in the hall can eventually remove nearly any nuisance, usually through me walking groggily by it at 4 a.m. and having the thought of "hasn't that thing been here for a week?" then throwing it away. The Tide can also bring new bounties though. I myself harvested a small pillow from the tide, which was thrown out for reasons that are entirely beyond me. I inspected it, found nothing wrong, inspected it further found that still nothing was wrong ,then soaked it in anti-bacterial Febreeze and went on. Now it fills the gap between mattress and support boards that my primary pillows are normally falling into, and it provides an extra 1/8 pillow of lift which I enjoy. By far the greatest recent innovation in the Tide is the "Free Stuff" box. I don't know who first placed it there but it's become a bizarre mixture of trash can and treasure trove. There isn't anything in there that I'd want, but I'm sure that someone must want those things. Then again they do bear a strange resemblance to the things that are left over in the "Everything in this box 5 cents" box at the end of a scout garage sale.

Part 2: Expansionist Policy

The halls are a free and ready source of space. It's easy to see people studying there, or hanging out, or making obscure art projects. Recently I've begun a system of dramatic interpretation that rephrases them as Asian war movements. It works because nearly everyone is Asian in some way or another, and I'm gradually learning how to tell who is what sub-category of Asian. It works like so.

People chilling in the hall studying for Econ.
China seizes minor transit route.
Todd runs amok with a nerf gun
Korea begins lashing out at neighboring provinces. Kim Jong Ill has finally lost it.
People drag a table to the hall in front of the elevators to study for a psych test.
Korean Vietnamese Alliance seizes central shipping lines.

I think it's clear that I've reached that level of boredom that inspires creativity but removes ones ability to channel it well. I'm considering getting a risk board and moving peices based solely on the movements of people in the hall, but I haven't quite reached that level.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I remember correctly I believe the free stuff box was placed originally by Sarah (R.A.) as a way of disposing of the unwanted objects left over from her spring cleaning extravaganza....it has sense been used as a dumping spot for Conrad....everyone else I'm not sure

1:19 AM  

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