Saturday, April 22, 2006

Forgotten Realms Community College

I was playtesting an adventure Mike wrote today. I was playing as a sorcerer, because I love sorcerers, and one interesting point arose when Chris accidentally called me a wizard, to which I responded: "Whoa! I am not a wizard. I'm a sorcerer. I didn't spend my life rotting in a library playing with spirographs and phallic symbols, I went to sorcerer school."

Now that's a fully coherent joke until the thing about sorcerers school. The key thing it know is that wizards use magic as a ritualized science, while sorcerers use it as an art. They don' t have spellbooks, and they don't use intelligence as their casting stat. They're artists, charisma is their casting stat and sorcery normally has no practical training, so a sorcerer school makes no sense. Which is why this comment was met with weird looks. However, I was able to pick that up.

"It's a 2 year associates degree at a party school."

And that lead to all kinds of great stuff. One key thing to note is that my sorcerer was dragonblooded, so he could breath fire as a spell. So the image of me doing a holding a blunt motion and saying "Hey man hit me up" *Getsures to indicate fire breathing* "Dude You are the MAN."

Think of all the other crazy possibilities though. If your friend was walking to the front of the auditorium to give a speech you just know somebody would cast grease on the stairs. People casting Daze and dancing lights, then sitting in a corner of their dorm room tripping and saying "The Colors!" Some jerk casts sleep on a group of his friends and writes on them. Your frat brother runs up and color sprays you right before your big date. They'd also have the ultimate pick up lines. "Hey baby, Charm Person."

And there's that one prank that would make the sorcerers of Dragon house heroes forever. That night they stole some magic item from the enchantment building and very carefully traced a lingering magic aura. Then the next morning there's a sign on the main walkway that says "Detect Magic" and when you do there's a clear lingering aura in the shape of a giant wang outlined against the administration building. Can't you just see the dean the next day?

DRAGON HOUSE!!!

And that's just with level 1 spells. Imagine what would happen if there was a sorcerer grad school and spells like Invisibility, Levitate, Touch of idiocy, and alter self could do. And fear the sorcerer Ph.D.s They call you in to their office, then trick you into turning around, then they cast gaseous form and float away. You look around confused, start to leave but they've cast Arcane lock on the door. All you hear is the hyena like cackling of someone who's finally put his 9 years of education to good use while you morn the fact taht Knock is a 2nd level spell and your only a sophmore.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hillarious!

7:18 PM  

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