Idle, yet heavily important, thoughts.
Being sick gives you a lot of time to lie in bed thinking. I don't spend enough time doing that anymore.
I'm thinking of dropping MATH 125 for this quarter.
It's a course that pains me, because I have such conspicuous talent in it, but a greater equal opposite is my contempt for it. I've found that my skill has become a burden to me, it rubs itself in my face. I can't escape some sense that with this gift I was given the responsibility to use it.
I am a gifted child too. I've always known that, but only more recently has it begun to weigh on me. I beat out at least 90% of the world when I was born an upper middle class American. Then I was given intelligence. I think I may be in the top 1% of humanity luck wise. But due to my morality this gift, this power, is responsibility. Let me make it undeniably clear that this is not a pentacle transaction, This link is not inherent, it's something within me. But power is also freedom, and freedom is choice, so do I have the choice to discard that responsibility? Is it ethically acceptable to not do what I may be best at in order to suit my personal preferences?
I don't know. I really don't. I know that I could be getting a 3.5 in that class if I was motivated, but all the greed and fear I have can't do it. I need positive motivation to excel in the face of difficulty, and I just don't have that right now.
Dropping it would also help my other grades. The vast majority of my excess grief is a byproduct of math, either by the destiny it implies or the actual course itself. Dropping it would give me some semblance of freedom.
But dropping it would be giving up. Dropping it would be turning from the clear path. It's a choice that frightens me, because it's something that can not be undone, and whose implications will echo throughout my entire life.
I need time. Time to think. Above all else the thing I've learned from this is that everyone should have a mandatory year of real world experience before college. And judging from those around me (and myself too in all honesty) they should be given this time to mature.
I'm not sure that I'll do this, by no means is it guaranteed, but it's on the proverbial table now. I'm going to think more on it, but I have to mark it down to give the thought real form.
I'm thinking of dropping MATH 125 for this quarter.
It's a course that pains me, because I have such conspicuous talent in it, but a greater equal opposite is my contempt for it. I've found that my skill has become a burden to me, it rubs itself in my face. I can't escape some sense that with this gift I was given the responsibility to use it.
I am a gifted child too. I've always known that, but only more recently has it begun to weigh on me. I beat out at least 90% of the world when I was born an upper middle class American. Then I was given intelligence. I think I may be in the top 1% of humanity luck wise. But due to my morality this gift, this power, is responsibility. Let me make it undeniably clear that this is not a pentacle transaction, This link is not inherent, it's something within me. But power is also freedom, and freedom is choice, so do I have the choice to discard that responsibility? Is it ethically acceptable to not do what I may be best at in order to suit my personal preferences?
I don't know. I really don't. I know that I could be getting a 3.5 in that class if I was motivated, but all the greed and fear I have can't do it. I need positive motivation to excel in the face of difficulty, and I just don't have that right now.
Dropping it would also help my other grades. The vast majority of my excess grief is a byproduct of math, either by the destiny it implies or the actual course itself. Dropping it would give me some semblance of freedom.
But dropping it would be giving up. Dropping it would be turning from the clear path. It's a choice that frightens me, because it's something that can not be undone, and whose implications will echo throughout my entire life.
I need time. Time to think. Above all else the thing I've learned from this is that everyone should have a mandatory year of real world experience before college. And judging from those around me (and myself too in all honesty) they should be given this time to mature.
I'm not sure that I'll do this, by no means is it guaranteed, but it's on the proverbial table now. I'm going to think more on it, but I have to mark it down to give the thought real form.
posted by Max at 12:33 PM
1 Comments:
Personally I figure it's fine to walk away from a burning building when all you've got is a Super Soaker 150....just remember to upgrade afterwards...
Post a Comment
<< Home