PE Discussions

I think a lot about how I would describe Project Exodus to say, someone on the bus. Someone who doesn't know my whole backstory and doesn't have time to go into the philosophical bits of it. The cliche that comes to mind and will simultaneously get the essential idea across while ending the subject is that I'm trying "To find myself."

Now if I were the standard person in my position finding myself would mean backpacking around Europe for a few months drinking, enjoying Amsterdam loose drug rules, and trying to nail one chick of each nationality.

I'd like to pause for a moment and thank the powers that be that I'm not the standard 18-35 year old male.

Stephen Colbert did a "Stephen's Sound advice" sketch on graduates once. One of the things was "Don't go to Europe to find yourself." and one of the key jokes was "Who told you that you were in Europe anyway?" It's funny but it's also relevant to my my experience. I don't think I'd gain much from going to Europe on my parent's bill because I've already had the essential Exposure to European Culture lesson. It's a good lesson, no doubt, but I've already had it.

So then where am I? I thought about it and the answer I've got is that I'm in the dark. Both in that I'm confused and lack clear vision, and that the time when I'm most myself, the place where I can truly connect to the core of what I am is in my "Darkened lair" mindset. I need to spend more time in that state if I'm going to move forward.