Saturday, April 14, 2007


I'd like to say that these are extracted from my notebook, but the real story is that these are things that I meant to write in my notebook, and I'm now fishing out of the crevices of my brain.

Playing loud music with headphones on makes it very difficult to notice that you're talking to yourself in a full indoor speaking voice. This also makes it hard to understand the person next to you at the freezer case when they mistakenly think you were talking to them, and it does nothing to preserve your dignity when you inevitably have to explain the situation to them.

My recent playlist is set up such that a random observer might view it and not immediately regard me as weird. This step in to the mainstream is an amazing change for me; my music is usually either too evil, too flashy, or too European for the average person, but a lot of what I'm listening to recently is dignified rock. Well, it is until you notice that the songs all share the album tag of "Guitar Hero II Soundtrack"

There are really a lot of people around during the daylight hours. I may have just gradually acclimated to the incredibly sparse conditions I work in, but whenever I go out during the week in the daylight everything just seems crowded.

Having a car makes shoppers lazy. I go in knowing exactly what I need, and I get only that because that's all I can fit in my backpack. I don't browse around pushing a cart. I move hunter/killer style from one objective to the next, preempt the voice commands from the self checkout, and leave in time to catch the next bus. It's the certain kind of scrappiness that's necessary when you have very limited resources.

When I do have a car at my disposal I'm just as lazy of a shopper as the normals I see during the day. Once every few weeks Kevin and I unlawfully search and seize Chris's car and head out to do our grocery shopping at 1 a.m. Sure it isn't making us look any more sane, but as I've previously mentioned, it's a great way to beat the crowds.

Thomas Kemper root beer is the only thing that can instantly sate my rage at the stores repeated failure to maintain a proper supply of BAWLS energy drink. I dread to think of the day when their drink case is out of both.

When my cell phone runs out of power I find the loss of my clock much more annoying then the loss of my phone. This bodes poorly for my social life, but shows how punctual I am.

Talking to mental health clinics is much more difficult then it should be. I've gotten two jobs and an apartment with the amount of effort I've put into talking to various clinics, and I still haven't gotten anything set up. Don't think about my problems either, think about people who are trying to get help for the first time. I can't imagine someone who had ADD and wasn't medicated ever managing to get ADD treatment on their own. They couldn't maintain focus long enough to jump through that many hoops. And getting depressed people to call at all is difficult. Getting them to call four places several times would take years. It seems like if any process should be streamlined it should be this one.

At at least ten points during this week I have thought to myself: "I really need to mail out my taxes." They're in my backpack. Luckily I can still make that April 16th deadline.

Who reads this crap? I'm not even bothering to make little stories out of it any more. For that matter why do I write it?


Anonymous Michael said...

One might ask why I read it as well. Found it on a whim one day, and the slight kinship imparted from being in the same hellhole (Houston) provided a slight hook, but the writing style and philosophical meanderings are what really keep me coming back (even after "Project Exodus"). If you choose to stop writing, that's fine, but I think you should know you're not giving yourself enough credit in this regard.

6:49 AM  
Blogger Kevin said...

It's one of the few things that keeps the voices from going mad?

1:21 PM  
Blogger Stephen said...

I read it because you live so far away, and it's my only way to get my daily dose of your crazy ramblings.

1:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What stephen said.

10:23 AM  

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