Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Outrage is my co-pilot

I've seen a lot of "Dog is my co-pilot" stickers recently. Too recently, as in I've seen 7 in the last two days and none before that. I couldn't believe that these are new, the slogan is too obvious, so I can only assume that a truck full of them blew up, a subtheory of my "Someone gave out a lot of these stickers" theory.

While that's odd, what bugs me about these is the same thing that bugged me about the "God is my co-pilot," "Buddha is my co-pilot," "Shiva is my co-pilot," and "Reason is my co-pilot" stickers that I've been seeing for years. The first problem I have with these applies mostly to the original. If you're religious enough to have a religious bumper sticker I'm willing to assume that you consider God to be better then you. Progressing from this belief shouldn't you be God's co-pilot?

My much more substantial issue comes from the pilot role that I've played in nearly every game that has let me. I'm a veteran of several generations of combat flight simulators, I was the only person to fly a helicopter well in the early days of the battlefield games, I weaved drop ships through enemy fire in battlefield 2142, I was the top pilot of a highly ranked clan in Tribes 1, and I was an expert with everything that could fly in Tribes 2, including ramming a tank at full throttle into a speeder and riding the explosion over enemy walls. I have enough fake experience that I feel like I know pilotry, and being that I always flew a team vehicle when I could I know where I'd want God if I was flying. It's not the co-pilot that matters, it's not even the bomber. Every pilots best fried is their Tail Gunner. I can't count the number of times I turned the tide of fight by flying in with a full loaded gunship, and there were just as many times that my fully loaded gunship was bitch slapped out of the sky by some jerk in a small hunting craft because our tail gunner had decided to turn his gun 180 degrees and take pot shots at nothing along the underside of our own ship.

I don't care who the figure is, but if I can find a is my tail gunner sticker I'm buying it.


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