Alternative Medicine

I had a kind of odd thought the other day. I've been yelling a lot more recently, and that's probably a sign that I'm getting better. Before you judge that statement listen to my explanation.

I've mentioned the idea of memory torment before, and my normal way of handling these episodes of seemingly random resurgent trauma has been to simply tough through it. My one definitively masculine trait is my staunch adherence to a dictum of pain tolerance. Somehow these events managed to slide into the part of me that believes in pain tolerance, and not the part that has the insight to know that emotions flow like a river, to fight them is pointless, and that one must simply allow them to flow, allow them to happen, and be done with them.

The screaming is a manifestation of the switch from simply brute force tolerating these things, to letting them happen. Rather then deadened and overcome the pain is released, hopefully leading to state where I won't have that pain any more.