Thursday, November 23, 2006

Nocturnal Musings

Lets start on the subject of my car. I've been thinking about it a lot recently because it presents an interesting duality. If I have my car I don't have to pay for the bus, and the amount of time I have to spend getting places is halved, if not thirded. However, if I have my car I'll have to pay the various up keeps on said car. This rather obvious and temporally displaced problem is met in equal measure by another such automotive duality. If I have my car I can get one of the seemingly endless stream of delivery jobs that are being advertised, and I can make a great deal more money, but I can't get my car up here because I don't have the money to fix my car.

The latter is the immediate issue. I can think of four places in Redmond that are offering circa $14/hour + mileage compensation for delivery drivers. I think the weather around here would make delivery a pretty big market, and I'd love to get a piece of that proverbial pie. I also think that for a truly self sufficient person it would only be an okay salary, but I'm still a semi-dependant, so I don't pay car insurance.

This rather tempting offer doesn't change the current state of my car though. My mother has been keeping watch over it while I'm gone, and she discovered a problem with the roof. She also still considers the breaks a "malfunction" while I'd come to think of them as "how the car handles." The story from there is that she took the car in to an auto shop in Montrose, I think, and they were apparently able to do fix all of the things that performance Saab was never able to. I've been told the whole thing performs better, that the brakes are now highly responsive, but that the problem with the roof is going to be incredibly expensive. I'm not sure when exactly the sub-motor that drives the roof burned out, I remember it being slightly unresponsive last winter, but early last summer it was working fine, and as it got around to being the summer swamp rain period I just stopped using it. I left the roof up all the time and didn't really have any complaints. Now, to my understanding, the roof is locked in the down position, and it'll cost $700 to get a new motor.

This is actually a running theme with my car. It was purchased used from a man who purchased it at Police Auction, so it wasn't too expensive for a European sports car. It turns out that when repairs roll around everyone suddenly remembers that it's a European sports car, and charges you brutal long distance fees.

If the world suited my whims, which it should, I would have this repaired at either a Nil cost, or a cost within my limited budget, and return from my excursion home by car instead of by plane. I've thought about it and it's really an easy route, you get on 10, you drive to L.A., you turn right onto 5, you drive to Seattle, you get on 520, exit 40th and bam. I'm pretty sure I could do it in 3-4 days too, I'd just join the collective at, download the last 2 years or so of "This American Life" which can be downloaded for free even though you can't join audible for free, and then just drive 14-16 hours per day. Sleep in the car, and subsist primarily on value menus.

It probably won't happen though. The world continues not to suit my whims, and I run into another key example of the fact that money is power. Money is power, power is freedom, and right now I seem to be trading them both for knowledge. This continues to not be the knowledge I came here seeking, but the lessons learned here will no doubt serve me for years to come. And I am getting closer to learning things about the intended topic, because I've become damn sure I need a college degree.

I've also come to accept that my job will serve as funding for a myriad array of hobbies. Despite being impoverished and completely unable to do any of these things I've been trying to learn to draw, learn Aikido, and I've been writing the occasional outline to what may some day be a seven book fantasy epic inspired by a series of D&D characters I made up. If I had enough money to have enough power to have enough freedom to actually do any of those things I think I'd be a lot happier, and so my search for spiritual fulfilment has lead me to be driven by the least spiritual of all forces, money.

My evil takes some pride in knowing that once again the things I'm saying aren't nice or pretty, but in then end you know they'll be right.

This funding becomes intended from principle, that's what I called the principle when I wrote it on my arm while philosophising all this on the bus a few days ago, brings me to the next stumbling block in my path. This one is particularly annoying because it's me. While I'm not in trouble I have set my own plans back a number of times by mixing the Internet with a brain incapable of sleep, but too sleep deprived to think clearly about budgeting. You have to understand that my list of potential entertainment purchases is essentially infinite, and every now and then forces conspire and I end up breaking the impulse threshold and buying one of them. While I'm yet to actually purchase anything which isn't a quality product, I still wish I was able to stifle these fleeting moments of financial recklessness.

Which brings me around back to now, because as we can all see the running theme here is "Poverty Sucks." Because it sucks, I've gotten a 2nd job, giving me 1 and 1/2 jobs in total. I only count the volt job as 3/4 because it's unreliable and doesn't pay well, and I only count my graveyard laundry/hotel job as 3/4 because it's reliable and pays well but is only two days a week. I have more to say on my new job, but I've run out of literary steam, and I'm going to go try sleeping again.

Also my cell phone is dead. It turns out that I'm out of minutes, and I'm not confident enough in my finances to buy more until after paying rent. I'm sure I can afford rent, but I'm not sure how much I'll have left over.


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