Thursday, May 15, 2008

My ongoing adventures with drugs

I think I may be on a scary trend here, because once again I have a story to tell which is, by and large, about drugs.

I started using Benedryl as a sleep aid recently, and while a single pill does nothing to me, literally 0, I found that two will help me sleep in a fairly passive way. I'd prefer that they functioned as controlled duration knockout drops, but my irrational desires to fix everything with pills isn't anything new. It's basically just a step down from my much greater, and two notches crazier, desire to fix everything with supernatural powers, and all of this wraps around my desire to be able to make my intent into reality without all of the fuss of action, reaction, development etc.

Anyway. This was going fairly well, the only really annoying part was the blister pack that the Benedryl came in. So I pulled a bunch of them out, and put them in an old concerta bottle. It was because of this, and because I had delegated this simple motor task to my lower cortexes that I grabbed a pill bottle, and took a pill. Luckily, I didn't complete the program of taking two, because I realized shortly after swallowing that I had just taken the wrong pill. Concerta does what it does very well, and what it does is give the person taking a slow release low dose of speed, so that they're more awake and more focused. It may sound crazy, but if you watch someone who is on speed (which is either hilarious or tragic depending on whether or not you care about that person) you'll inevitably realize that they are way too awake, and more focused then any human being without psychic powers ever should be. My meds give me just enough to be precise, and not enough to be stabbing people in the back allies for wearing shirts with lizards on them without the common courtesy to get the lizards to Stop judging me!!!!


So now I'm awake in an entirely different form of insomnia. I'm actually highly awake. It's a shame because on the surface this is exactly what my insane old dream of breaking my sleep dependence was, but I know from my own experiment that when I come down I'm going to lose more time then I gained. In the meantime I've moved my concerta to the medicine cabinet, and I'm thinking of getting my laundry out of the way early this week, since doing laundry late at night is something I've done for a long time, both as tradition, and as vocation.

If I'm unreachable by phone tomorrow you know why.


Post a Comment

<< Home