The Ravings of a Mad Man

This is another story about a dream I had. Before I can tell it I need to explain a few things.

Somewhere between 40 and 70 percent of my dreams consist of me fighting things. There’s rarely a defined reason why I’m fighting, and the exact nature of the fight (weapons number etc.) are in constant change. It also tends to follow whatever my most recent escapist activity was. When I played Jedi Knights III Jedi Academy for prolonged periods of time I found that the weapon of choice became the light saber, and that the magic, there’s always magic in one way or another, became use of the force.

In this dream it was me as my most recent D&D character Sulfaras, a paladin and champion of righteousness, against a swarm of creatures that I couldn’t at first identity. Even when I woke up I couldn’t figure out what they were. I figured it out, but before I can tell you I have to explain a few more things.

The newest edition to our D&D group is Alex. He’s a good guy overall, he plays a berserker with a charisma score of 3. Because we value role-playing, this essentially requires him to be a jerk. He’s found creative ways to do that though. It’s the difference between trash talk and insult comedy. His character also uses bizarre outlandish phrases, which are actually just modern day English, but in the campaign setting they’re bizarre.

Ok now I can describe the creatures. They were humanoid in appearance. They all wore a black facemask that made only their eyes visible. This was fairly standard, but what threw me off was that they also wore long black fur coats and black velour pants with shinny black leather combat boots. They’re torsos were exposed and looked like that of a human male. They fought using various short curved blades, which were probably wakizashis, or tantos. The exact difference between those two is unknown to me. They fought with amazing dexterity as well. Back to Alex.

One of the outlandish things Alex’s character has is his hideout. He’s a heavily wilderness person, who lived in a small encampment on the edge of what is known as the dark wood. He calls this the “Pimp Ninja Training Camp”

And I think that’s what they were. They were a legion of Pimp Ninjas. I think my subconscious needs a hobby.