Hexpresso
Greetings. I know you're all wondering why I've called you here today. Today we meet to discuss one of the most powerful tools in our repitoure. I speak of course, of Hexpresso.
What is hexpresso you ask? It's quite simple. You of course are all familiar with the concept of the espresso milkshake. Consider a similar creation, but with 6, rather then 1, shot of espresso in it.
I myself have just recovered from my most recent use of this wondrous substance. At first it simply made me awake, entirely too awake for 2 a.m., but awake nonetheless. I immersed myself in physics to a degree that I see now was almost certainly unhealthy. One should know that I drank only half of the concoction that night.
The next day I began drinking the rest at around 10 a.m. I drank it in very small sips every few minutes between then at 2 p.m. when I left for my physics test. My immersion by then had begun to play on my mind. I imagined vector lines of centripetal velocity and acceleration on very circle that I saw. Tiny lines marked fr at the bottom of the wheels of cars. Newtonian reactive pair vectors on objects in peoples hands. It was madness at it's nerdiest. At 2:30 p.m. when I went to take the test itself. I was at the pinnacle of caffeinated lucidity.
I manage to fully complete this test, more then I can say for my last physics test, and I proceeded home satisfied with my performance.
At around 3:45 I had descended to a level of what I would call "Normal awakeness." At 4 I was at a level I would call "reasonably tired given recent lack of sleep." Shortly thereafter I began to feel the backlash of hexpresso.
I myself and normally immune to the rise and fall effects of caffeine, I drink caffeinated beverages on at least a daily basis, and I find that I rise only gently and fall only gently.
There is nothing gentle about hexpresso
at 4:15 I had reached the malaise portion of the counteffects. By 4:30 I was in the "thinking in molasses" part, and at 4:45 I was in the "Guh..." Stage. I lost consciousness at 5. I woke up the next morning at 9:30 fully rested and no worse off for the experience. Some would call the loss of most of Friday cataclysmic. I call it even trade.
The moral of my story is this. Know what you are doing before you tamper with the bizarre alchemical substances of our day. And everything has its consequence.
What is hexpresso you ask? It's quite simple. You of course are all familiar with the concept of the espresso milkshake. Consider a similar creation, but with 6, rather then 1, shot of espresso in it.
I myself have just recovered from my most recent use of this wondrous substance. At first it simply made me awake, entirely too awake for 2 a.m., but awake nonetheless. I immersed myself in physics to a degree that I see now was almost certainly unhealthy. One should know that I drank only half of the concoction that night.
The next day I began drinking the rest at around 10 a.m. I drank it in very small sips every few minutes between then at 2 p.m. when I left for my physics test. My immersion by then had begun to play on my mind. I imagined vector lines of centripetal velocity and acceleration on very circle that I saw. Tiny lines marked fr at the bottom of the wheels of cars. Newtonian reactive pair vectors on objects in peoples hands. It was madness at it's nerdiest. At 2:30 p.m. when I went to take the test itself. I was at the pinnacle of caffeinated lucidity.
I manage to fully complete this test, more then I can say for my last physics test, and I proceeded home satisfied with my performance.
At around 3:45 I had descended to a level of what I would call "Normal awakeness." At 4 I was at a level I would call "reasonably tired given recent lack of sleep." Shortly thereafter I began to feel the backlash of hexpresso.
I myself and normally immune to the rise and fall effects of caffeine, I drink caffeinated beverages on at least a daily basis, and I find that I rise only gently and fall only gently.
There is nothing gentle about hexpresso
at 4:15 I had reached the malaise portion of the counteffects. By 4:30 I was in the "thinking in molasses" part, and at 4:45 I was in the "Guh..." Stage. I lost consciousness at 5. I woke up the next morning at 9:30 fully rested and no worse off for the experience. Some would call the loss of most of Friday cataclysmic. I call it even trade.
The moral of my story is this. Know what you are doing before you tamper with the bizarre alchemical substances of our day. And everything has its consequence.
posted by Max at 12:42 PM
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