Readied

I'm back from the U District, having completed all of this days heavy burdens in the course of 4 hours, and getting bonus points for managing to grab Liberty Meadows compilation 4, and a #9 Chicken & Beef Terriyaki along the way.

Re-enrollment has been filed. I have this background fear which I remember having two years ago, namely the "I hope I get in" fear. It's nonsense of course, I already got in, but some part of me is temporally transposed and unable to escape that.

It's strange what echoes we carry with us. Thinking of all that I've gained in only twenty years I wonder how anyone can live to be thirty and not be consumed by madness. Perhaps I'm the only one who experiences these episodes of the past, reliving the intense fear, triumph, shame, or pain that marked that moment so clearly into my mind. Perhaps memory is mercifully mitigated and madness and melancholy are made mere mummers of minutia.

I come here to the conclusion I come to almost every time I think of such things. I simply don't know. Give me another twenty years and perhaps I'll have figured it out, or perhaps I will have to fortune to have forgotten the whole thing.