Tuesday, August 12, 2008


At the start of last week I wrote out everything I was going to have to do that week. It was a long list and it didn't include school. It was a lot, it was frankly too much, and I was certain by the end of the week there would be red mark on the list somewhere.

I looked at this again at 4 a.m. on Sunday. I was tired from a long laborious day, and still ringing with an odd mixture of prides. There was the sly satisfaction of knowing that my social analysis skills were getting better, there was a form of self righteous assurance knowing that the plan I had formulated the moment I had entered the door had worked, and there was the glow of upholding the burdensome virtue of designated driving. I saw that list and for a moment all of the outlying emotions stopped, standing as one in salute of the realization.

Two weeks before this I had trouble getting up and going to school in the morning

One week before that I had the painfully ironic slip up of being too caught up to make it to a therapy appointment.

This week I had signed up for far too many things, and I hadn't missed one.

I smiled, not having enough energy for proper celebration, and wrote in large letters across the list itself.


Only now to I find it amusing that all of the life changes haven't really changed who I am. In a moment of great triumph I still fell back to a Mortal Kombat reference.


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