Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Disease

There's a point with all bad things in live where it becomes routine. It's not a good thing. In fact it's probably the worst thing, but once you've reached that point you can stop being worried about them. You worry about things you don't understand, and I have a very thorough understanding of sleep problems. A while after that you begin to get almost jaded with it, and at that point you can begin laughing at it, granted in a very dark way, but it still counts.

This is why when I stumbled out last night around 11 I wasn't thinking about the ramifications of not getting any sleep, I was wondering if the sleep loss was due to sickness, or the fact that I hadn't been going to sleep at 10 for a long time, or perhaps because I was starting classes again the next day. It's a fun little game, and for those of you who were playing along at home the answer was sickness.

One other thing occurred to me last night. I was laying in bed, unable to sleep, whiling away the hours and reminding myself that if I got up I wouldn't fall asleep. It's something I've done countless times before, but it felt troubling, because it was back to being new. It's been a long time since I've been able to lay in bed for six hours and never really get to sleep. In a weird way I'm almost proud, because this time it wasn't my fault.

Okay, technically it was, I should've known better then to eat the discount steak, but it was disease keeping me awake, a clear external issue, not anything I was doing internally.

Anyway, I got up this morning and with a whole myriad of minor symptoms I went on my way. A lot of unusual sweat, a day late and dollar short vitamin water and more then a few subway napkins later I make it to class.

Where three nervous T.A.'s tell us that the professor is out with a serious illness.

Now I'm sure if we were being sane we would just call this serendipity and move on, but I have to wonder if I'm not the only one who saw discount steak and thought, "Ya'know what I haven't had in a long time..."

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