Monday, April 28, 2008


There's a feeling that I have so often I had begun to not notice it anymore. That changed. I'm not sure why, but from one reason or another I'm becoming more and more aware of it over time.

I'm cramped. Physically, and it feels almost spiritually.

I'm not sure if the two issues are related, or if the second is simply being labled as a feeling of being cramped because of the first, but they're both distressingly present. The first one is a far too simple story. It's also why I've been cleaning all day. And I will grant, the apartment looks much better now that I've cleaned it and packed a few of the things we simply don't have room for into the crevices and gaps that are part of our hodge-podge arrangement, but even with the space I know it will fail in time. Freedom will only come to me in my escapist addictions.

Spiritually, perhaps mentally, it stems from my own stagnation. An old mantra of mine comes to mind. The phrase is "Not Enough!"* said as a defiant outcry against stagnation, mediocrity, and often even reality itself. Life is becoming too repetitive, even my personal strifes feel painfully familiar. I'm bursting with a kind of wild violent energy that needs... Something.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you getting taller?

11:17 AM  

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