Thursday, May 31, 2007

The Awesome Speed of Chan

So first I made this image. Don't worry if you don't understand, Judge Fudge is another of those esoteric things that I enjoy more then I should. I was killing time so I decided to put it up on 4chan and request that Judge fudge be the new meme. Within 60 seconds I has already gotten two replies.
Those bastards are fast.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Drunk on the Immortal power of Meme

I wonder if you can take a day off work if you've been rickroll'd. It worked for people who said they'd been served. I also wonder if you can buy one of those little bracelets for the victim of Rickrolling. Sure it may not be quite as big of a problem as cancer, but we must never forget those in need.

I'm enjoying this way too much.


Okay so that link to "something awesome" was actually part of a massive inside joke that probably only I found funny.

I'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that Darkened Lair™ is a copyright of Mx-Co™; that it exists purely for my own uses, and that you use it at your own risk.

Anyway Rick Rolling is a 4chan prank, you claim you have relative information or the the "sauce" of something they've been asking about. You give them a link which doesn't lead to anything else, but instead links to that Rick Astly video. It's a lot like being punk'd.

I think it's also one what lead to this family guy scene. That and the overpowering awesome of the keytar.

Payng Tribute

The Show Shin-Chan should not be viewed by anyone. It's also one of the only shows that I enjoy it enough to watch it while not multi-tasking.

I also wasn't sure if I fully liked Scrubs until just now. It was the Underdog scene in episode S01E23 "My Hero" (I love a thorough torrent) that put me over. That was just genius

I'm also putting the rock version of the underdog theme song back on my playlist.

Also thanks to whoever PDTV is. S/He provides some of the finest quality TV torrents.


Motivater is a fun program

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Near Miss

In moments of minor depression I write long aimless poorly thought out esoteric rants that are full of self deprecation and defeatism. I'm really glad that I never managed to finish them, it's the only thing that keeps me from posting that schlock.

My normal schlock will, however, remain uninterrupted.

Monday, May 28, 2007

It's a Trap!

There's a lot of weird stuff on 4chan. A lot of things that are just wrong too. It has a huge number of internal jokes, terms and games etc. It can be kind of hard to figure it all out. Every now and then you find something awesome though.

*You Got RickRoll'd!

I'll explain this in a new post tomorrow.

Think of the Children

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Beyond Words

I just spent most of the night comforting a woman who has been dealt a terrible blow in life. There is a good story here, a profound story, but I can not find the words. Perhaps later, when I am no longer so thunderstruck by the experience I can try to express it, but right now, when the experience is still clear and pure in my mind, it is far beyond anything that we could express with words.

The YTMND Project

I've heard a lot of weird and dumb stuff throughout this, but I think I hit on the single best sudden contrast. It comes towards the end of Volume 8. The first song is "The Lonely Man Theme" by Jon Harnell, which I know as the sad walking away music from the incredible hulk. It's a dark song that invokes a kind of saddened reverence in the listener.

It's followed immediately by "Kurukuruin" an incredibly jumpy Japanese pop song which is so sugary it gave me diabetes. I've listened to a lot of J-Pop music and I generally enjoy the genre. It's the one gaping hole in my "ominous loner" image. I even kind of enjoy this song, but it's really inhumanly upbeat. It is, in my professional opinion, Chibi. You may think that a song can't reflect a sub-genre of the anime art style, but you haven't heard this song. No normal human could sing like that. The age required to be this cutesy is pre-natal.

The clash of these two, if you're not prepared for it, will not only dislodge you mentally, but may Throw you across the room. Listen at your own risk.


I just finished the archive of a webcomic I started reading a while go. I was running over there forum and saw a contest posted. It's a clever contest, and I had a few ideas percolating when I got to the end of the post and saw:


Saturday, May 26, 2007

Moment of doubt

While taking of my glasses I accidentally hit my keyboards mute button, and for just a second I thought I needed my glasses to hear.


My former roommate Cooper jingled when he moved. I'm not sure if he was wearing a bell, or if the two tags on his collar clinked together, but you could always tell when he was about because of the jingling. It was very helpful to me because it put a clear loophole in my paranoia. During the countless a.m.s I spent in my lair I would hear noises; a clattering in the kitchen, a rustling of the blinds on our glass door etc. Normally I'd be contractually obligated to grab my athame and sneak out to investigate, but if I heard any of those noises followed by a jingling sound I could write it off as just being the cat. Now that the cat is gone I'm beginning to see how many other things jingle. I keep hearing the faint jingle of coins or bottle caps and expecting to see the cat wandering past me. It's odd, and sad, and makes me wonder if an animal can haunt a previously inhabited building before said animal is dead.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The End of Exodus

More times then I can count during this project I have measured my options and decided that I could do without. Those which were needed became fewer and those which were sufficient became greater. I can not say if this is growth in the face of adversity or simply tolerance of my financial powerlessness, but it can not continue. There is a line which I should not have crossed, but I gradually slipped past it. What lead me lies somewhere on the thin line between arrogance and idealism, and it seems like such a reasonable idea too. It was a job that I went into every day wishing I had a different job, and went home from every day while thinking about getting a different job. Can you honestly blame me for rejecting it?

That's the catch though. I may have had some taste of the lower class experience, but I wasn't raised in poverty. Whatever endurance I think I may have gained from this will never match that of someone raised in it.

Marking my meager coffers and measuring my suddenly empty surroundings I think about the next three weeks. What exactly am I going to do? The problem is not only that we do not have them here but we will not have them there either. Acquiring a there, it seems, will only be the first of my tasks. A long list of essentials needs to be procured, but I don't have any money. I could get them cheap by hunting second hand stores but I don't have a car. All I have right now is time, and it seems I don't have the power to do anything but waste it. This is the true horror of poverty. The system was not made for you, and so you must fight all of your battles twice.

There is much work to do...

The End of Exodus

On this hour at this time I choose to stop and reflect. A great many things will happen this day, and they force me to consider a great many more.

Chris and Catie move out today. Catie has a summer internship overseas starting in roughly a week, so they're leaving sooner then originally planned. Their departure brings many things to light. I was never been particularly active with them, we all got along, and I think they're good people with an interesting story, but by and large I keep to myself and they likewise keep to themselves. They are a pair of deviants engaged before the age of twenty and though every bitter nerve in my body screams in protest I think they will go on to great things. At times like this when reason and humanity are at an impasse I take solace in my faith, and I have faith that they will do well.

Their departure brings up the issue of communal existence. For a while now each of us brought something to the collective experience of our home. When we first began to pool our resources my inner opportunist kept a strict list of what belonged to who, but in time my humanity was allowed to speak and I ended this needless obsession. The separation is a stark reminder not only of this material division, but of how much C&C contributed. As I look around me; mentally filtering our possessions, I see how much I've benefited from their generosity. I'm probably not as ashamed as I should be to see how little of the pool is actually mine. I thought at first it would be the big things that would get to me. The sudden absence of the couch, and the projector for example, but my eye for luxury was soon overshadowed by the necessities I would soon lack. How many of our dishes belong to Catie? Who exactly owns the microwave? These thoughts loom as massive icebergs on the horizon of my consciousness, because what I'm actually going to miss is the people. I've grown more attached to them then I'd thought, but I know that loss is the key to change, and so my pain is bittersweet and promises another chapter of my story.

As he basks in the dawning son I realize that I'm also going to lose cooper. I like cats; I've had an affinity for them since childhood, and this eccentric ex-druggie cat has been an amusing and sometimes annoying presence in my life for months now. I'm going to miss him.

From all the loss this day will bring I see my work ahead of me. The sudden peril I've been thrown into must be dealt with, and it must be dealt with now. A list of phone numbers, websites, and a grand amalgamated to do list wait only a few hours away. Soon I will enter into a great storm of activity, but for now the day is still dawning and I am at peace.

In this early hour the gravity of it all hits me. This is really ending, and the next stage is really coming. It is a pain that almost moves me to tears, but only almost. Now is not the time for tears; now I have to be strong.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


This have just gotten complicated, and to think that I was beginning to think I had everything under control.

Hello Max,
I am sorry but all the three bedrooms have been rented at University West Apartments. I do have a two bedroom but that is it for September 1 move-in.
Thank you,

Key Flaw (contd)

All right! The bank will be open in just another hour. Now if I can just turn this bacon related indigestion (we really need to go shopping) into another few hours of awake time I can..

Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

Team Ninja

First let me explain to you something about the Anime Inuyasha. I don't actually like Inuyasha, it's repetitive and overdone, but I love the way combat is done in Inuyasha. Every character has a couple of special moves, and they're all performed the same way. The character jumps into the air, the background changes to the standard anime flashing colors thing, and the character shouts the name of the technique. All of that has to be done before they can actually use the technique. It's flashy, and it's theatrical, and it's hilariously overdone, and I love it. The most common technique used by the title character is "Wind Scar" which consists of an overhead slash with his katana, and results in a giant anime beam attack.

Okay now cut over to Ninja Gaiden Sigma. I've been playing the demo heavily because the game isn't out yet. In the demo you have access to a number of different kinds of weapons. I prefer the aesthetic and feel of the two swords, but the staff is the most effective. The one that matters right now is the two handed sword. Every weapon has a charge up maneuver. Normally these are giant psychotic psychobilly freakout style combos. For the two handed sword you perform a massive downward chop that bisects anyone in the way, but you also create a near perfect representation of the wind scar blast. I don't like the weapon at all, I'm large and slow in real life and I play these things for the escapism, but I love that one maneuver. The 14 year old Otaku inside me squeals in fan boy delight as I have the freakishly over sized blade and yell "WIND SCAR~!" to what I'm sure is the confusion of my upstairs neighbors.

*Only half of the words that spell check refused in this post were actually misspelled. The others include 'Otaku, Katana, Anime, and Psychobilly'

Personall Grooming

I need to either get a haircut or start headbanging more often.

Key Flaw

I kind of like being nocturnal, but there's one key flaw.

I need to go to the bank, the store, and probably the U district. I should also talk to my shrink and the people at University housing. These are all things I could do readily if it weren't 2:46 a.m. Not having to deal with people is nice, but not having access to people is a pain.

Damn this dichotomy.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Bodily Harmony

The matter of my poor physical health has been weighing on me more recently. The obvious answer to this is to just exercise, but that would only work if I stuck with it, and I know myself too well to fall for that.

My interest in the eastern martial arts is well founded, but my knowledge and training are essentially nonexistent. I don't have the time or money for actual training, mostly due to the travel time that this would require. Luckily I'm a child of the information age, so I have the Internet at my disposal. It promises to provide me with the knowledge I seek.

It's amazing how many things have pod casts. Now if there were any Tai-Chi pod casts that weren't dead I would be in great shape. There are a few Aikido pods, but watching them yields the same reaction I always have while watching Aikido.

"What the hell was that? They were sword fighting, then one guy touched the other ones arm, and the one was suddenly sprawled on the ground while the other had his sword. How do they do that?"

It's clear that I'm going to need professional help to learn Aikido. The inherent slow focus of Tai Chi should make it easier to teach over a podcast. Now I just need to find one...

Sunday, May 20, 2007


A CNN story about someone who was declared legally deceased and lost her bank accounts etc. reminds me of something. I have no intent to die any time soon, but one of the many mind games I've played is "what goes on your tombstone" So in the event of my death here's what you need to know.

If I'm on life support and there's a good chance I'll recover I have a year and a day. No more. If it gets to be one year and one day from when I entered catatonia then cut me off.

Prior to making any funeral arrangements everyone involved must watch the episode of Penn and Tellers "Bullshit" about the funeral business.

Cremation. Split the ashes into three piles. Scatter one to the wind locally. Scatter the other to the win in Israel, and sell the rest along with my skull to the more

I don't have anything of significant worth, friends/family can pick over my stuff. If two people get in to an active argument over some specific item then neither of them can have it. All liquid assets go towards buying a grave plot and a large stone marker.

What exactly I would have put on the gravestone is still undecided. If I die before I decide put it to a vote. Change the numbers as necessary. There are three candidates.

1: "Death is but a door time is but a window I shall return!"

2: "Max Willson

3: "AVENGE ME!!!"

A Crack in my Phylactery

Ever since the bizarre events of my computers death and rebirth its had a problem. When running multiple high media processes for a long duration (World of Warcraft and iTunes for example) or when multitasking two high processor load programs it begins to overheat. It doesn't stop me from the key basic functions, but it's an issue while gaming. After running a series of poorly designed Chernobyl style tests (if I turn off the alarm on all of the voltage monitors but leave the alarms for the heat monitors on, then run CoV WoW and BF2142 at the same time I can find out which it is. If it beeps it's heat, and if the system locks up and performs and emergency shut down it's voltage. What could go wrong?) I came to the conclusion that it was a heat issue, and probably CPU heat.

I've now acquired a heat gauge program that logs everything that runs through uGuru and after only one of these intelligent tests I had confirmation of my theory. So I'm going to need a new CPU fan, and the aid of someone who can reliably install a CPU fan. I've taken the seven or eight dollars that was my computer upgrades fund and converted them into a computer repairs fund, but my labels don't change my lack of actual money. I'll find a solution to that before long...

In the meantime I'm doing a number of ill advised things in order to keep my rig running. First of all I've set the alarm temperature to 80 instead of 75, although I've left 85 the emergency shut down temperature. In addition to that I've set the fan to go psycho whenever the CPU is above room temperature. It's failing but isn't broken, so it might as well blow it's failing heart out. In my one smart move I've under clocked my CPU. The heat gauge program also has settings for restricting maximum CPU use. I've got mine running at half speed and I'm not really having any issues. Everything takes a little longer to load, but it's nothing big. Luckily my video card fan is unharmed.

The last thing that I'm doing, and the thing which is almost hilariously ill advised is that I'm running my machine with the case open. The giant alienware case is designed for accessibility, so you can remove one entire side of it. That side normally has a small fan that pumps air out of the case, but I've disconnected that fan and opted for a more breezy square foot hole in my computer. It seems, and feels, and probably is crazy; but it's really effective. I'm thinking of leaving that panel off and replacing it with duct tape and mosquito wire.

Geez, even my computer has become a minimalist hodgepodge. I've gotta get a job. Well a real job.

Mind games

I've been playing these little games for years now. There's no real point to them, and they inherently lack a real victory condition, but they're amusing.

The games consist of creating some hypothetical scenario interesting enough to support an actual game, and then toying with that scenario until it loses interest. In this way half of the game is making the game, but I think that's really a key part of the game. The goal, in so far as there is one, is to take the scenario you've laid out for yourself and find a response that's either insightful, creative, or amusing. Certain games lend themselves more to certain goals. The "what would the CNN 2 minute human interest story on you be if you were the president" lends itself to humor, while the "If you could have any super power, but would lose it as soon as anyone found out what would it be?" is more of a creativity thing. The whole discussion on the relative merits of having some massive demonstrative power you could only use once vs a weaker power you could use frequently could waste days if not weeks. Insight tends to spring up at random.

I considered writing down all of the games as I play them, then selling them as a book, including an e-mail address at the back, and selling peoples responses to the games in the first book as a 2nd book, but it's just another thing to throw on the vast pile of major artistic works that I've considered doing and almost certainly never will.

Saturday, May 19, 2007


I was amazed to find that the May 19th announcement by blizzard was already made when I checked the news sites at 4 a.m. on May 19th. Then I remembered that the announcement was made in Korea. Go Timezones.

Speaking of which, Woo!

I was kind of hoping for world of starcraft. It seemed like the only thing that would pull me out of world of warcraft. Oh Fury, how I long for thee.

Have you ever listened to the lyrics of the Cheers theme song? They're really brutal. The famous line is "Sometimes you want to go / Where everybody knows your name." Well the preceding line that sets up the rhyme for go is "And your third Fiancee didn't show." It's probably just a bit of comedic exaggeration, but it's amazing how harsh they are.

There's a woman who rides my bus on Saturday mornings. She's always wearing a scarf, gloves, sunglasses, a head cover, and thick clothing. I would say she has the plague, but we got over that a while ago. I default to the modern equivalent, and assume she has the aids.

I find the phrase "The Aids" far too amusing.

Some times I wish other people around me on the bus could hear my music. It would make it a lot less awkward when I unconsciously start raving to myself.

Actually, I was listening to the song 'Sex Bomb', by the Lords of Acid at the time, so it's probably a good thing they can't hear it.

Let the Man Run

If there's one subject I'm consist ant on it's cyborgs. I support their creation, their integration into our society, and their inevitable conquest of our pitiful fleshling civilization. You may think that cyborg athletes are the first step on the slippery slope to the downfall of humanity, but I for one welcome our new cyborg masters.

End of Exodus


On June 15th I'll be leaving the city for upwards of three weeks. I recognize the burden this would put on you, and I feel the need to inform you so that you can begin making arrangements for either a temporary substitute or a full replacement. I fully accept and understand if you'd like to simply hire someone else into my current position. I would have to leave in August anyway in preparation for school. No matter your decision know that you've been a excellent boss, and that I've thoroughly enjoyed working here.

Friday, May 18, 2007


I just had a dream that I was a comedian who got in a lot of trouble because a soldier repeated something I told him as a joke and almost got killed. It's a rare instance because this dream revolves around one central action by me, and I actually remember the details of that action. In the dream I told this joke to a group of soldiers after a show I did in Iraq.

"I know you guys are having a little trouble fitting in around here but I can help you. You're never going to look like Iraqis, but you can let them know you're on their side; so I'm going to teach you a little bit of Arabic. Next time you pass a group of scary looking guys just look them in the eyes and say 'Am Israel Chai.'"


My weight and general bodily health is beginning to bug me...

Thursday, May 17, 2007


Some cruel joke has mixed conviction and impulse and I've decided to try my experiment of listening to the entire YTMND soundtrack. I'm at around 50 out of 326. I can say without doubt that this would be mentally damaging to anyone forced to do it without stopping, I have been given the mercy of stopping whenever I leave the room.

I can also say without doubt that no less then 1/3 of the mental anguish I'm going to suffer came from the song "Holla Back Girl" which I had not heard before today, and intend never to hear again.


I just folded all of the linens in our laundry closet. It didn't need to be done, we rarely ever use them, and they were in a semi-orderly pile. But I looked at them and I couldn't silence the voice that said how badly they were folded, that questioned the craftsmanship

The entire closet is now folded according to ESH™ standards. It's part of a cleaning spree I seem to be on.

I'll pause here to let my mother stop laughing at the idea that I'm on a cleaning spree.

Like most of the good things I do this one is guilt based. Catie turns 20 some time around this Saturday, and is having a party. She's also the only one of us who routinely thinks about the cleanness and general presentability of our apartment, and she's the one who thanklessly and without being asked to does most of the cleaning in our apartment. She's also the only girl, which explains but doesn't justify the current system.

While she usually keeps the apartment looking okay, a far mark above that set by my masculine cro-magnon peers, she's upgraded it to fully clean in preparation for her party. It's clean to point that you can feel the room glaring at you if you leave anything out. A single can left behind would once blend in to the native fauna of controllers and CD cases, but now it stands a stark reminder of your crime; an emblem of your shame. The clean has begun to have malice. In the face of that I've seen just how unclean the hall restroom, my room, and the kitchen have become. What is easily a month of miscellaneous sink debris has been cleared, and the mysterious yellow splatter on the door to the laundry closet (seriously what was that stuff?) has finally been wiped free. I'm breaking now before taking on the epic struggle that will be my own room, which has slid steadily downward this past month. It's almost reached the cataclysmic levels reached by my room at home. When I clean that one I plan to bring along a healer, if not a full group.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Some kind of Ghoul

There are birds outside making a lot of noise. It's almost impressive, they must be right outside my window. I was considering going outside to shoo them off, but then something occurred to me.

I'm complaining about birdsong. What the hell is wrong with me? I like birds, but I seem to have some kind of vendetta about them recently. I tell them to go back to sleep when I'm at work and they're chirping before sunrise, and now I can't even tolerate the birds that are welcoming in the day. It's even worse because I'm disparaging the birds when the lawnmowers will coming in six hours when I'm trying to sleep. What kind of person would do this to birds?

Sunday, May 13, 2007


My paladin hit 70 a little while ago. Not exactly recently, but since the last misc. I'm going to make this character a tank, since my main is a healer, and every freaking body but me is a damage dealer.

I wasn't aware that a contest was going on when I purchased the candy, but I failed to win whatever prize you can win from 100 grand bars.

I have netfilx now, and I love it. I plan on getting gamefly not long from now. If I have netfilx, gamefly, and an MMO subscription I think I can get infinite entertainment on $50 a month.

There have been a lot, possibly too many 300 parodies in webcomics. This is my favorite.

Whenever I get tired of my most recently playlist I fall back to putting all of the YTMND soundtracks into one giant list, then turning on shuffle. I've fallen back to this improvised list four or five times now, but it always seems like a new experience.

Listening to the YTMND soundtracks on shuffle exposes you to such a wide variety of songs in such a jarring manner that I think going through all fifteen albums worth of songs would result in severe emotional trauma. I'm not going to try this, but as a man of science I'd like to try it on some mice and see what happens to them.

The line between science and mouse torture can painfully thin at times.

Where did I learn the lyrics to the song Bannanaphone?

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Devil's Advocate

I habitually play devil's advocate. I'm sure it's an annoying habit of mine, but you may take some comfort in known that I also play it to myself.

I paced around the office this morning thinking about what I'd said here. The whole thing started with the idea that it would be interesting to have an exact count of what I did that night, but once you begin to measure you inevitably begin to judge. There was only one opinion in the entire entry, but it was sufficient to gnaw at my brain.

"I think my fee is reasonable..."

Why should you get $90 to do laundry all night? Any douche can do laundry. And why are you getting paid for 9 hours when you only really worked eight?

I was in service to the establishment for nine hours. Even though I was only actively working for eight of them they still took nine hours of my time. I also don't get any form of break. Legally they're required to give me a fifteen minute break every two hours, so in the eight hours that I was doing laundry I should've gotten an hours worth of paid break. The inactive hour is simply the result of Federally mandated breaks and personal time management.

It's good to see us finally applying what we learned from being a temp worker.

That still doesn't answer why you should be paid $90 just for doing laundry all night.

I get paid that much because it was the deal. The contract was put forward by them. I agreed to it; both parties were and are on amiable terms. There's no reason to see a conflict there.

You can't base your personal perspectives on your contract. The contract is why you are being paid, but why should you be paid.

Because I'm the one that does it. I can't dispute that this is an unskilled job, and I don't doubt that there are those who would do it for less, but when the call went up for someone to spend every night of their weekends doing menial tasks at an hour when most people would be asleep I was the one who answered it. Furthermore the entire idea of a moral or philosophical imperative being required in this scenario is flawed. This isn't a matter of opinions, this isn't an ethical debate, this is business. Nothing more.


I direct you here. Which I can't do without also directing you here.

So the matter was settled. Phantom insiders got teh Leakz.

Except for this.

Starcraft 2? Starcraft MMO? Diablo III maybe? Perhaps another WoW expansion?

I don't know. I'm eager to know, as I'm a Blizzard man-fan, but I really don't. I've thought about it a lot and read a fair amount and I've come to one conclusion. I don't know.

And Neither do you.

See you on the 19th.

The End of Exodus

"Thank you for confirming your intention to enroll a the University of Washington. We have received your enrollment confirmation and you have been enrolled in the University as indicated below..."

"This the date on which you are authorized to begin registering on MyUW for Autumn Quarter, 2007 "

June 18, 2007

Taking Stock

37 Queen Sized Sheets
36 Fitted Queen Sized Sheets
7 King Size Sheets
9 Fitted King Size Sheets
100 Pillowcases
6 Blankets
4 Mattress Covers
3 Comforters
2 Pillows
53 Washcloths
52 Hand Towels
15 Dishcloths
14 Dish Towels
40 Bath Mats
4 Shower Mats
108 Towels

All Washed, cleaned, folded and stored properly.

5 Lost Keys
2 People calling from India who don't realize that the manager isn't available between 1 and 4 a.m.
1 Late check in
2 Early Check outs
1 Guy who locked himself out while smoking

All helped according to their need.

Approximate time spent actively working: 7 hours 30 minutes
Approximate time spent on call: 8 hours 15 minutes
Approximate time homestead will be billed for: 9 hours

Approximate total cost to employer: $100
Approximate total paid to employee: $90

I think my fee is reasonable...

Monday, May 07, 2007

Shows me

Damn. As soon as I go on a tirade about the overwhelming role of handguns in outbreaks of gun violence I read in The Stranger about a psycho who used a rifle. That's the real reason I shouldn't rant about politics, I'm just informed enough to be arrogant but not informed enough to be right.


I think I have to point out that even though I'm in favor of legislation restricting access to handguns I do have an active interest in acquiring one. The reason I haven't is because I want to buy a handgun, and they but rubber bullets. I don't want to kill anyone, I just want a portable ranged self defense system, so that I could compete with the ranged weapons of my potential attackers. Some day I'll find someone who will actually sell me rubber bullets, and then I'll be in business, but I didn't have any luck in the past. Everyone and their dog will sell me the lethal kind, but if you say "I want a gun and I don't want to kill anyone" it seems to give most firearms dealers a headache.


I think about going into politics fairly often. It's a fleeting daydream that I can only have when in the absence of logic. The politics of my dreams aren't marred by reality, and when I think of what I would have to be to actually succeed I am always unwilling to compromise myself that much. Politics is one of the many areas in which my surplus of thought and consideration puts me at odds with the masses. I feel only mild shame in saying that it's one of the areas where it also makes me right.

Gun control. While I consider myself an independent I have a history of siding with the blue team, so if I was playing it down party lines, a thought that actively nauseates me, I would be in favor of it. Quite frankly I think the issue itself is incredibly poorly managed. On this issue I'm technically an extremist, because my view is exactly the opposite of what I've been told is the moderate position. With the recent outbreak of crazy at Virginia Tech, and Johnson space center gun control almost became a talking point. In those few moments where it was raised I heard many of the newsmen who I generally agree with giving their united position. "We should have guns, but we have to have them in moderation, so we need a universal assault weapons ban." It's probably a bad thing that outrage is not only my default response to political discussion, but that it has become reassuring and familiar.

Cho used Handguns.
Space center psycho used a Handgun.
Columbine Kids used Handguns.

The world doesn't run on the Quake III engine, a single shot from a handgun can kill you. A single shot from an assault rifle can also kill you. They're both instant lethality weapons. I am yet to hear of any act of non-military violence that's been carried out using an assault weapon. Since I moved to Seattle it's been only handguns, and that one wackjob with a crossbow. Back in Texas is was pistols and the occasional shotgun. I think that we need to ban all concealable firearms. I wouldn't be opposed to having a minimum size requirement on civilian issue firearms, because I think there would be a lot less risk involved if carrying a firearm meant that everyone who could see you instantly knew you had one. In a perfect world scenario every citizen would be issued one along with two clips and a mandatory training session as part of their selective service registration. Carrying a gun would be an option that everyone would have, and I think few people would take if for no other reason then the sheer hassle of carrying around your government issue assault weapon. You'd be required to carry it partially disassembled too, that way if someone was going to flip out they would either have their weapon drawn and assembled (your cue to take cover, call the police, and pull yours if applicable) or they would have to spend a few seconds unslinging, assembling and loading, which would give the same cue.

This also fits with my beliefs on the nature of the 2nd amendment. I think that it's imperative that the people be allowed to bear arms, and to me there is clear reason for it. The people must always maintain the ability to overthrow their own government. While the effectiveness of the pistol in the psycho vs. unarmed bystander scenario has been shown, the utter failure of all forms of handgun in an actual firefight has also been shown. To stand a chance against our own military we'd need a tactical weapon system, and in the modern day that means an assault rifle. It probably also means I.E.D.s, but we'll blow up that bridge when we get to it.

Actually, in a real perfect world scenario. One where I'm free from all the bounds of inevitable failure I would be in favor of getting rid of all guns. All bows and slings etc. too, no ranged weaponry of any kind any more. Instead there would be a similar government issue system as stated above, but this time you would go down to the register, fill out your selective service paperwork, and then they'd issue you your card, your voter registration, and your Katana. No more of the cheap stuff, from now on everyone gets a sword.

Damnit spellcheck you don't even know the word Katana? This is the Internet damnit, an introduction to medieval melee combat is part of the starter kit for running in the tubes.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Making light of Tragedy

I just misread the headline of "Greensburg residents find a city gone" as "Greensburg residents find a gnome city." It's not the conventional method, but it's a good way to find humor in tragedy. It's also my cue to wave my hands and yell "Doom! doom! DOOM!" while marching around in my global warming causes violent weather patterns sandwich board, but I'm using that sandwich board to even out a wobbly bookcase, so I'll let this one slide.


I didn't wear shoes tonight.

Some time fairly early in the night I decided that I just didn't feel like wearing shoes, so I took mine off. I would slip them back on to attend to any guest matters, but by and large I went barefoot all night. I feel as though I've either crossed or am about to cross some kind of line. I enjoyed this too much. Being barefoot is my preference, but it's not a huge deal. In this case however it comes with the perverse joy of knowing that everyone else has to wear shoes. When T comes in later he'll be wearing shoes. He even has to wear a homestead shirt. They never ordered me a homestead shirt, so I'm free from that responsibility as well. He has to be prim and clean, but I don't have to play by their rules. I'm the night man, a massive black clad figure wandering the grounds and playing obscure music at all hours of the night. Lumbering around in the back room, talking to himself, emerging periodically to yell at birds. The only thing I have differentiating me from a tress passing hobo is the set of keys I keep pinned to my belt.

Yeah... I've definitely crossed some kind of line.


I'm delaying my two important topics. I don't have my argument settled enough on the subject of Evangelical Atheism, and I'm not in the right state of mind to do such hardcore philosophy as is required of the meaning of life.

It's really amazing how much an office chair, proper posture, and florescent lighting do to kill my creativity. I'm much more in tune with myself when I'm sitting in the dark in my little lair. I really have to stop wasting those valuable opportunities on WoW, when I could be doing something pointless and faux creative instead of doing things that are pointless and escapist.

It's probably a good think I don't live near any bridges.

They say that if your friends all jump off a bridge you shouldn't do it to. It's a powerful lesson about not adhering to the group standard. But all of my friends cross bridges in a calm safe manner, so wouldn't I be surrendering to peer pressure if I didn't jump off the bridge?

It's a Psychobilly Freakout

There's a song I heard a while ago, I'm not entirely sure when this was but it was whenever I first played Guitar Hero II. If I remember right that was the day after they released Guitar Hero II. The song in question is called "Psychobilly Freakout," and it's the most appropriately named song I've ever heard. You would have to listen to it to understand, but the song is flat out crazy. When I say that it sounds like it was made up on the spot I don't mean that in a bad way, I mean that the song feels incredibly spontaneous, as though someone just freaked out and started slamming out chords.

As amused as I am by the song itself I've had more fun playing with it's name. It's just so fantastically bizarre, and I found myself playing a little game of thinking up things that the name could fit, but which aren't the song itself. Feel free to play along at home. My entries so far are:

Psychobilly Freakout is not a medical condition.
Psychobilly Freakout is not a narcotic.
Psychobilly Freakout is not a rave maneuver.
Psychobilly Freakout is not a limit break.
Psychobilly Freakout is not an energy drink.
Psychobilly Freakout is not a professional wrestler
Psychobilly Freakout is not the signature move of a professional wrestler
Psychobilly Freakout is not a supervillain
Psychobilly Freakout is not a sexual position.

Saturday, May 05, 2007


I have four things I wanted to blog about, but I didn't have time last night and now I'm tired. So I once again address my self.

Two negligible topics

-Psychobilly Freakout, the power of the name
-The niche market of the Bass solo

Two significant topics.

-The Meaning of Life
-Evangelical Atheism.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

A New Level of Sad

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Free Space

While I'm not an actual comic book nerd, I'm do have an interest in the subject, living nerd-cariously through my friend Shlomo and the newsposts of various webcomic artists, and more recently through Phillip Collins. I doubt any of you know Phil, or Kefketeran, as he is sometimes known, but he's one of the many obscure people who fall under the label of "Internet famous." I've been a fan of his on Evil Avatar Radio for some time, and now he and a different group of nerds are running a comics based podcast known as: Johnny Gigawatt and the Tiger Men from Mars. I've gotten upwards for 100 free hours of entertainment from Phil in one way or another, and to those who have interest in the gaming world or the comic world I recommend his works.

Quotes Archive

Once again my quotes page on Facebook has grown too massive, I'm starting it over again, and as before I record what I have now so that I may enjoy it at some later date.

Live Every Week Like It's Shark Week"
-SubversiveJustin from EvAv

"This one was Banned from Music Television. Because you can see my Junk, through my jumpsuit."
-Dr. Rockso

"What was that? I couldn't hear you over my cosmic harmony"
-Max Willson

"And they're having the entire procedure without the aid of drugs. As someone who dosn't go to the movies without the aid of drugs last days salutes them"
-The Stranger (the newspaper not the book)

"I'm not biased, I'm informed!"
-Max Willson

"I hope you can see this Midway because I'm doing it as hard as I can"
-Phil, from Ev-Av Radio

"One day all these cookie-cutter New-wave ripoff bands are goign to combine Voltron-Style into a giant Mecha Ian Curtis and destroy downtown London. NME will give their rampage a 9 our of 10."

"Does a Bottle of Bourbon Make Drunk?"
-Destoo of EvAv

"Quickly! We have to get him inside, This is how musicals get started."
-Questionable Content

[Lethondrin]: Hah! I, healer druid, just out dueled a shadow priest
[Cynical]: Wait by duel do you mean she was in your group and you forgot to heal her?
[Lethondrin]: lol, kinda
[Patronsaint]: Hell if that's the case I once beat four people at once without even being at the keyboard

You can regret your decision in hell
-Christie from DOA4

How do I shoot web!?!
-Kevin, while playing DOA4, a game that has absolutely nothing to do with spiderman.

Remember Agent, Skills for Kills

Paragon Nerd

In the last 20 minutes I've gone from listening to public radio podcasts while playing video games to laughing hysterically to a NPR joke inside an Internet cartoon. There's something deeply wrong with me.

Things I need to learn

If you're going to make something tomorrow, begin thawing it today.