Monday, February 27, 2006

This one may be a bit of a repeat

I'm not sure if I already mentioned this or if this is one of the things I've been meaning to write into the blog, but in either case I'm writing it now.

I can tell a lot about my day by one key phrase which I end every day with.

"I have class in blank hours I should go to sleep."

That blank says a lot about the next day. It's usually 8, but every now and then it's 6. It's been 4 on a few occasions and I remember that once it was 2, and thinking to myself "Fuck it, My alarm clock is going off in 30 minutes I'll just stay up," You may also notice that I'm posting this at 2:35 a.m.

Can they notice that?
It mentions the time of posting on the blog
No you're thinking of the old live journal blog
I think blogger does that too
We should check
Screw it, if it doesn’t mention that they'll figure it out when I mention it
there's wisdom in his surliness

The reason I'm posting this late is because I just woke up. This was going to be another 8, but it looks like it'll end up being another 4.

Max, it's 2:35 why did you wake up now?

I had a weird dream. That's not true, compared to some of my dreams this one wasn't weird at all. I had a dream that I woke up at the end of. The rules say that anytime you say you had a weird dream you're required to tell the story of that dream, so here we go.

I was in my high school physics lab. A computer screen was open to my physics homework page (college physics homework is all online) the question was "Given the power of the sun (energy/time) how many joules does the earth absorb in one day." I read that, and a zombie rose from the ground at the back of the classroom. I had a sword on me (the two constants in my dream are that if I'm still in a humanoid material form I'll always have a sword of some sort and some form of mystical ability, these are true even in dreams where the sword or mystical ability goes completely unused) which I drew. The zombie was slightly smaller then me, and lacked any form of weapon, so I had a clear range advantage. It wasn't hard to dispatch it. I found that this zombie obeyed the Resident Evil rules of survival meaning that anything can be destroyed by "Fire or destruction of the head." Having dispatched the zombie I began writing out the formula for energy in a sphere from at a radius equal to the distance of the earth from the sun, and the surface area of that sphere that would be blocked by the earth given the radius of the earth. Every 5 minutes or so another zombie, or occasionally a small group of zombies would appear. The use of the sword and the occasional bolt of fire from my hands allowed me to dispatch them, after which I would return to the problem. Once I had written it all out I entered the solution into the website, submitted, and found it to be correct and woke up.

Add another notch to the Max is Crazy post if you would be so kind.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Cricket Cola Syndrome.

The following took place at 10:50 in the 1101 convience store on the night of febuary 25th 2006.

Ahh, One bottle of diet coke, one bottle of pink lemonade. I know anyone who'se spying on me telepathically will be pointing out that they already sell lemon coke. But they don't sell pink lemon coke, and let me assure you there's a diffrence. Anyway, bottle of pink lemonade and....

Situated below the pink lemonade, regular lemonade, and limeade are two other fruit drinks. I've already had orange coke.

I wonder what fruit punch coke would taste like...
Oh crap.
Max we don't have to do this! There's nothing Forcing you to...

"That'll be $2.95"

Ugh. Syndrome wins again.

For the record people, Fruit punch coke isn't so bad. I'm not sure it's an improvement over regular coke or regular fruit juice though.

Friday, February 24, 2006

On the Nature of Value

My recent financial problems concerning my foodcard have left me highly observant of the prices of things. The followign are all things I can buy downstairs.

A single 1101 dinner from nearly any one of the mini restraunts
-1 meal

2 cans chef boyardee product.
1.5 meals

2 cans beef stew, and rice which is $0.50 a pound, so essentially 0
-2 meals

Microwave burritos
-1 meal

It occurs to me that I really should stop eating at the reastraunts, and jsut go grocery shopping at 1101. I'll save a fortune. I'll have to get conrad to buy another bag of rice (I'm almost out of the single bag I've to buy during my entire tenure here.)

Tenure? We haven't finished two quarters yet. Is he allowed to say that
Does is say anywhere that he's expressly not allowed to say it?
Then he can. It's the air bud rule
Air bud rule?
Yeah. Remember the last scene of air bud where he plays on the team. Anything that isn't expressly forbidden by the rules is allowed.
We have strange and confusing rules.


We open on a scene wherein max is sleeping peacefully. His madness has left his body to be manifested in it's only dark perfection in his dreams.


"What the hell was that?"
"That was lightnining Max"
"Yeah Conrad, figure of speach. You see I was asleep when our room was hit directly with a lightning bolt."

Time passes, Max shuffles back into awareness.

"Hey Max, it's snowing outside"

And indeed it was. For the third time overall it was observable that snow was falling. I left and went walking down the hall when I saw Sarah the R.A. bolt out of her room and across to Andrew, the other R.A.'s room.

"What's going on?"
"It's sticking"
"Yeah, it's sticking to the ground."

We gathered around andrews window, and observed. It was indeed sticking. Also andrews room is rediculously clean and organized. Oh well, R.A. for a reason I guess.

I wish It would snow during the day some time so that I could get a good picture of it.

That one's kinda neat. It would still be a lot better if I had some kind of giga-flash and was able to get a picture that looked like what my eyes were seeing.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

It's a good thing

I just checked the physics webpage for my physics test results.

70? Hmm. That doesn't sound good. It's a C, and just barely.
But wait, you forget that this class is on a curve, and that last time the highest grade was 76.
Toche. Do they show distributions?

A few clicks later

117 scores
average: 56.1

Your score of 70 is greater than or equal to 80.3% of all scores.

Mwuhahhaahhaha. Awesome.

Later on today.

I walked into math tutorials this morning and was handed 2 packets of paper.

Lets see here old homework and... OH DAMN! Zero? How the hell did I get a... Oh wait. Right, that's a 10. The 1 is just kind a merged with the circle around the score. Much better.

I then turned to look up at the portable black board to see the test spread.

Ok. Average score 61.7 High score 81.
And what did we get
Oh well we really should've studied more, I think we could've done.. Wait what?
Hah! Hahahahahha

*Cough cough*

Freakin Karma

Did it occur to anyone else that even laughing in my internal monologue caused me to cough? It would make a lot more sense if I had been actually laughing.

Oh damn. I think we've caught that cold Conrad got from someone further down the hall.
Is it now our duty to go infect someone on floor 4?
No we can just pass it on to Katie.


So. We beat out 8/10s of our physics peers and all of our math ones, but we got a cold
Totally worth it.
I'd just like to take this moment to point out that you started coughing right after basking in your own achievement, and quote whoever first said "Pride Goethe before a fall."
Bah! Stop ruining my basking
You must admit he has a point
Will you people just shut up and let me enjoy this? I 've just beat my arch nemesis.
Yes math. Or as I fashion him, The Dark Lord Kalkulose.
Max you have way too much free time on your hands
or are just crazy
or both
lets go with both

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

A Modicum of achievement

I reached a new level of lazy today.

It was the natural conclusion of me staying up to study for a math midterm, then having a day where I had to get up early, do a math midterm, and then go to class again later that day. Then I slept poorly today, and went to class early.

That's not as bad as it sounds by the way, so don't get in a hitch about it.

In a hitch? Adopting a southern drawl now are we?
Shut up.

Anyway it was around 11:30 today that I reached this new state. I was tired, but not sleepy. Had homework, but no motivation. Content enough to not be bored enough to be driven to do anything. And hungry with a focus on chocolate or prepackaged junk food. I ended up lying on my bed reading comics and eating a Swiss cake roll. I call this new level of laziness, "Jabba the Hutt." Which leads me to the word.


Hutting: Being in a state of laziness powerful enough to render one similar in nature to Jabba the Hutt. Alternate phraseology: Pulling a Hutt, In a hutt.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Bad Max, BAD!

I really should start doing more editing on these thigns. School of Discipline? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Gah!

Anyway we all know this is an empty promise. Is it a promise at all? Judges?

The narrator looks of screen

Nope, official word is that it's not even a real promise. Whatever it was it's empty.

A bad sign.

I've begun drinking soda from a 2 liter bottle. I think this is a bad sign. You should know that I'm not doing this because I feel the need to drink 2 liters of soda, in fact I don't routinely drink that much. I'm doing this because they don't make orange coke. Someday they will, and I'll be the biggest buyer of it in the world. In the mean time I'm stuck mixing the standard bottle of orange fanta (a coke bottle) and a bottle of diet coke in a 2 liter bottle.

What I wonder though is how long it'll be before I consider one of these 3/4 full bottles to be one drink. That will be a dark day indeed. Pancreatic Cancer FTW, Max FTL

D&D Memories

The following is a recreation of the story of the character I played as back when I played D&D online. I’m writing it purely out of boredom. It’s important to note that I played a chaotic evil Drow lich sorcerer. Drow means dark elf, and a lich is a form of evil mage who seals his soul in a different object becoming undead. The whole Voldermort horcrux thing is a blatant rehashing of a lich. I’m not actually that evil in real life, but I found it an interesting character to play. This is from when I first became a Lich.

A group of heavily armed humanoids of various race sit around a table in the back of a tavern. A man in armor covered with a tabard displaying the holy symbol of Heronius sits most to the left, followed by an ironclad dwarf, a robed elf, A tall vaguely dashing human, a gnome wearing leather armor laced with strange glowing symbols, and a short person whose face and body are completely obscured by black robes which seem to drain the light from the air around him. A map is stretched on the table in front of them. The human speaks, detailing a plan of assault. The black robed figure rises suddenly and walks towards the door.

Shrike: Mobius where are you going.
There is a pause as the robed figure leans heavily on his sword which he uses as a walking stick. He draws a deep ragged breath and without turning to face him replies
Mobius: I finally understand what she was trying to teach me.
The man in the tabard yells from the table.
Hector: Off to practice your unholy madness Drow? Good riddance.
Shrike: Will you be back
Mobius: In time.

An abandoned lighthouse lies on the edge of town. Most consider it haunted, and those that don’t consider it a building whose foundation is shaky and whose roof it bound to collapse at any minute. In either case no one cared enough about it to defend it when a dark mage took up residence. They were disturbed but more so afraid when strange lights began to flare. For years the light had served as a beacon of safety and the safe completion of a journey. Now the lights echoed dark madness. After a week the other adventurers began to become concerned, but they knew not to disturb Mobius in the middle of one of his bizarre projects. They, with the notable absence of the paladin, gathered a safe distance away from the lighthouse.

The elf peered at the lighthouse with the scrutiny of a practiced intellectual. The gnome carried a strange whirring and glowing contraption leveled at same lighthouse. The others just gawked, unknowing but faithful in the knowledge of their comrades.

Shrike: Sellian, what do you see.
Sellian: The place is radiating magic. Guessing from the ambient vibrations it would appear that he’s drawing primarily from the school of necromancy. It’s strange; Mobius is more fond of the transmutation and evocation schools.
Shrike: Huh?
Sellian: He’s doing death magic, which is weird because he tends to blow shit up.
Shrike: Ah. Gnizmo?

The gnome looks up from his machine and grins

Gnizmo: Well, according to the gnizmometer, patent pending; we’ve got crazy amounts of both magic and evil. Now I know what you’re thinking. Gnizmo, didn’t your last evil detector blow up when you used it on Mobius? But that’s actually a huge misunderstanding. That thing blew up because the northern aligned reticulating splange was north north easterly aligned.
Shrike: Duly noted. What do you think is going to happen?
Gnizmo: Oh that sucker’s dead. Nobody can survive that much ambient magic, and Mobius was always kinda sickly anyway.
Sellian: I was thinking that too, but I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit. While we all know he’s not strong of body or even particularly mentally gifted he has a passion that has allowed him to withstand an amazing amount of punishment.
Gnizmo: Hah, yeah, “Passion.” Passion will keep him from getting blow the hell up.

They continued to watch. Days passed, turned to weeks, and passed further. After the third continuous week, on the 21st hour of the 21st day the light ceased. They waited, anticipating the return of their dark comrade, but nothing came. A day passed, and nothing came. A second day passed, and still nothing came. A third day passed, nothing happened. However, during the third night something came. It was a caravan made entirely of the Drow. If the people had not already been asleep they would have fled to their homes. One of the sacred flames had been extinguished. They came seeking the remains of fallen royalty.

Gnizmo: I thought ol’ Mobi was an outcast.
Drow Emissary: Yes. His crimes were heineous and will never be forgiven. However his veins still carried royal blood, and he deserves burial as such.

When they ventured in they found him dead. By all accounts he had died just before completing whatever dark ritual it was he had labored on. He was dressed in the finest of Drow burial clothing, and placed 11 feet in the earth. The ceremony was grand, taking place under the darkness of a new moon. The adventurers reformed. They, with the continued exception of the paladin, mourned the loss but knew that they still had a task ahead of them. They planned and readied for two weeks more. Four days later, 21 days after the death of Mobius, something happened. Someone woke up.

He awoke gasping for air. He was terrified to find that he couldn’t draw breath. He couldn’t feel his pulse, but he could feel his own life-force within him. He realized then what he was. He didn’t need air. He didn’t need anything. He was a hideous abomination; he could never deny that, but he was powerful. More powerful then ever before. He had cast off the broken husk that was his mortal form, and taken on one that was so much more. With a blast of arcane fury he detonated the lid of his coffin and the earth above him. He rose forth on eldritch wings and roared in dark triumph.



Friday, February 17, 2006


I'm a big fan of my iPod. Overall I'd recommend them.


It turns out that there's a problem essentially everyone who uses their iPod as a hard drive has after some extended period of time. I don't know the exact nature of the problem but it involves how the computer recognizes it. When I connect my iPod to my computer it freezes the computer until I unplug it. Until recently the only way I was able to charge my iPod was to connect it to my computer, and having a frozen computer for 8 hours isn't a good thing. I got conrad's wall charger so that problem is solved. This still leaves the problem that my iPod is now essentially unupdateable. I have found one obscure method of doing so. Run the battery to 0 (leaving it playing with the light on and no headphones works well for this) then plug it into the computer. It won't freeze for about 2 minutes. During those 2 minutes you can transfer stuff. It's a pain and it's tedious but right now it's the only known way of doing this.

If you have this problem you need to learn a few things. Go to apple support and look up things on resetting your iPod, putting it into disk mode, and using the restore function. I'm told restore can create a temporary fix, but I've got music on mine that I don't have on my computer, so it's out for me.

*who didn't see that one coming?

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I thought we killed him off ages ago

Great news! I've solved all of my money problems

*footsteps from someone running can be heard in the background gradually getting louder*

It's really simple you see. I got this e-mail, and some guy in Nigeria wants to give me five thousand dollars if I help him get


*the speaker is hit on the head with a 2x4 from behind, a nearly identical person steps into view*

Sorry folks. That's naive innocent Max. I have no idea how he got out, but we don't let him take control for a reason. We definitely don't let him have a real bank card. I'll drag him back to his room.

*realizes there's an unconscious Max with a visible wound on the ground and that he's still holding a blunt instrument*

Oh, yeah don't worry about him. He'll be fine. It's part of the whole 'intangible manifestation of the mind' package.

*camera off*

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


I recently had a discussion where I mentioned having given a "Jeusus is the way" slip to another one of the random people who wanted me to support their cause.

It's story time again.

If you walk down the ave you've got a 10% chance per block* of meeting someone who wants you to do something for their organization. This can be anything from embracing the Lord at teh lutheran center, Embracing the Lord at the bubble tea place, or giving to any of the seemingly infinite legeons of young people who don't understand dependency theory and want you to give $20 a month to starving children in some third world country. Now it's important to understand that I find all of them annoying and support none of their causes. It's not because I'm not willing to give, It's because I'm not willing to give to some jerk who may or may not be using my money for a good reason, I prefer to help people directly. Also to help people around me. This is why I give to the miscelaneous hobos that decorate the UW area. It think I've already given a rant about this though, look up "Tithe" on the blog history.

Anway, as people whose causes I generally don't support and who have forced themselves into my life I consider them ripe for the harassing. This is done most simply by transferrance. Hey, save the children guy, Do you know jesus? How would jesus feel about capital gains tax? He wants you're opinion on it. It's an amazingly amusing program, and quite easy to implement. Anytime anyone hands you a flier for something hold on to it. And the next person to hand you a flier, you trade them. You give them your first flier, and take theirs.

I'm thinking of making Maxonina Royal Army fliers and carying them around. This way I don't have to wait for someone to give me one in order to get a trade off.

The Maxonian Royal Army Needs You. Galactic Conquest is Near. Join the Infinite Legion, embrace being nothing more then a number. The Post Apocolyptic Future, Today! Mx-Co.

*China Express is 3 blocks
*Zandu Comics is 4
*China First is 5
*Safeway is 10
*The Dreaming is 12

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Indulging in Evil

I was walking down the ave today, on my way back from China express.

*Note to self, add the china express vs. china first rant to blog.

Anyway, walking down the ave back from china express. I'm wearing black, black and unwashed jeans. Someone who had the ulterior motive of making me give $20 a month to people who are far away that I don't really care about comes up to me and makes the mistake of trying to cheer me up before plying me for my money.

People like this need to learn that walking around with your head down dosn't always mean depressed, sometimes it means disconnected from ambient reality.

"Hello young man, you should cheer up, it's valentines day!"

The dark council convenes

Let's shatter her world view
Let's resort to violence
Let's string her along and then point out the flaws in sustainable development theory calling into question the entire validity of her whole organization, then, from the point of a dependency theorist, claim that her actions are reinforcing the negative relationship between the first and third world and challenge her moral foundations.
He's good.
Yes, but he's taking it too far. We need to let her know that she's disqualified her attempt and that she's dealing with an intelligent yet vaguely evil person.

I look up at her. Shake my head, turn to keep walking and laugh in a manner which is just slightly more evil then normal (making it notably more evil then average)

That'll teach em.


Something hilarious just dawned on me.

You see I have a habit of pre-scripting myself. My mind tends to wander and one of the things it does while wandering is setting up amusing lines and phrases of various sort. When those are worth while I keep them in my internal readiness slots. It general works.

I'm also prone to ranting. Going on a long tirade about a single subject, saying meaningful things for 5 minutes but talking for another 10. However I usually realize I'm ranting shortly after it's too late.

I have a solution

Next time I'm ranting, and I've realized it, and I'm to far gone to make solid conclusion I'm going to finish that sentence and then say "And you know what else? Live from new York, It's Saturday night!"

Then just walk away.

If they get it that means I've found someone with a near supernatural tolerance for absurdity, and I've salvaged the rant. If they don't then nuts to them.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Sweet Mother of God Yes.

Figue A-B-C from Below

 Posted by Picasa

I'm changing my major to Mad Science

Max Willson to CSpennerGreetings.

I'm considering constructing a device using components from the student supplies section at the UW bookstore (they sell everything) and I have 2 key questions.

I've forgotten whether it's resistors or capacitors that stack in series, Is it figure A, or figure B (potential forms of my device) that would simplify to Figure C.

Secondly, if the methodology used to close the switch, which is made out of two metal points, was a pumpkin, how much charge would be necessary to cause that pumpkin to explode? This methodology is also why there is a resistor drawn on the switch.

-Max Willson

CSpenner to me.

Hey Max.If you're going for large equivalent capacitance, then connect them in parallel (increases effective area => more room to store charge) as in figure A.
Highly dependant on pumpkin size and density. Not sure you'll be able to accomplish this with off-the-shelf'll need quite a few.
Careful with those pumpkins. And capacitors.Send me the video when you figure it out.

__From: Maximilian Willson []
Sent: Sat 2/11/2006 2:38 PM
To: Christopher Spenner
Subject: A question on charge
- Show quoted text -


Greetings. I know you're all wondering why I've called you here today. Today we meet to discuss one of the most powerful tools in our repitoure. I speak of course, of Hexpresso.

What is hexpresso you ask? It's quite simple. You of course are all familiar with the concept of the espresso milkshake. Consider a similar creation, but with 6, rather then 1, shot of espresso in it.

I myself have just recovered from my most recent use of this wondrous substance. At first it simply made me awake, entirely too awake for 2 a.m., but awake nonetheless. I immersed myself in physics to a degree that I see now was almost certainly unhealthy. One should know that I drank only half of the concoction that night.

The next day I began drinking the rest at around 10 a.m. I drank it in very small sips every few minutes between then at 2 p.m. when I left for my physics test. My immersion by then had begun to play on my mind. I imagined vector lines of centripetal velocity and acceleration on very circle that I saw. Tiny lines marked fr at the bottom of the wheels of cars. Newtonian reactive pair vectors on objects in peoples hands. It was madness at it's nerdiest. At 2:30 p.m. when I went to take the test itself. I was at the pinnacle of caffeinated lucidity.

I manage to fully complete this test, more then I can say for my last physics test, and I proceeded home satisfied with my performance.

At around 3:45 I had descended to a level of what I would call "Normal awakeness." At 4 I was at a level I would call "reasonably tired given recent lack of sleep." Shortly thereafter I began to feel the backlash of hexpresso.

I myself and normally immune to the rise and fall effects of caffeine, I drink caffeinated beverages on at least a daily basis, and I find that I rise only gently and fall only gently.

There is nothing gentle about hexpresso

at 4:15 I had reached the malaise portion of the counteffects. By 4:30 I was in the "thinking in molasses" part, and at 4:45 I was in the "Guh..." Stage. I lost consciousness at 5. I woke up the next morning at 9:30 fully rested and no worse off for the experience. Some would call the loss of most of Friday cataclysmic. I call it even trade.

The moral of my story is this. Know what you are doing before you tamper with the bizarre alchemical substances of our day. And everything has its consequence.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Special Move

I made an image a while ago using old images and my amazing digital editing skillz (which I assure you can pay the billz.) It's based on a facebook about me thing I made up which describes me in vaguely video game terms. It's exact nature changes from time to time, but the one thing that remains constant is:

"Special Move: Infernal Rage Runner. Forward, Forward, Up, Down, Punch,"

Last Transmission of the Osiris

I'd like to make one more post before I descend. I have a physics test tomorrow, and I'm just now emerging from the mental equivalent of being buried in snow, but instead of snow it's physics.

Wow, I thought I was better at imagery then that. I guess my right brain went into it's happy place to cry and rock slowly while hugging itself in the face of such an onslaught of left brain activity.

Anyway, I've realized something about the way I'm doing math now. It's slightly different then the way I was doing it before.

I know a set of rules. And I have the problem. I pick the problem apart until it's a set of things which are counteracted by those rules.

I'm not posting that for any good reasons, but purely as a segway to a favorite quote of mine, which actually describes my new form of problem solving.

Questions Will Be Asked. And DESTROYED!!! BY ANSWERS!!!!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Harsh Mistress

I stayed up late working on my Hebrew composition. Consequentially, I slept through hebrew class.

Irony is a harsh mistress

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

User Error

I'm really bad with my cell phone. I'm not sure you understand how sever that is.

"You have 15 new messages."


I still don't like phones, so I'm awsnering them here.

I missed my dinner with the Jewish Frat.

Apparently Kevin told me to get a jacket at some time. I probably didn't

The Heat Vision shirt is an out of print one from It read "With Great power comes Heat Vision

Thank you for doing my Taxes. I didn't even think about that. Also yeah 10 boxes is a lot but I don't eat it all that often, and it should keep for a long time.

I've missed a lot of things with the Jewish Frat. I feel bad about that, yet strangely enough not bad enough to do anything about it until friday or so. I also still hold on to my theory that this is going to be anothe one of those things where it's not fun if you're not drunk.

Whoa! I haven't heard from Amanda in.. Wow. I don't think she reads this blog, but impressive story.

Anyway it turns out that it wasn't that I left my cellphone on and on the charger, it was that it was off and on the charger. So if you've been trying to call me that's why it hasn't worked.

Deviant Creativity

The downstairs food service center has added a pasta bar. It works in an interesting way. You skip everyone waiting in line for Asian food, fill out a card with name sauce and various extras, pay, the person behind the register stamps the card, and later you get your pasta.

It seems like a pretty good system overall, but the potential for mischief is too high.

For one thing they charge you before they look at your card, it’s a flat rate. So if I request Alfredo, marinara, pesto, sausage, meatballs, chicken, and cheese is it the same rate as plain noodles?

Also the cards don’t have any real distinguishing logo on them. I could make one in word. More importantly I could make one with little tiny changes in word.

”Who ordered the pasta with chicken and… The blood of the innocent?”
”I’m sorry sir but we can’t give you pesto egg noodles and enlightenment for only 6:58”

The most obvious one by far though is the name blank. There’s all kinds of fun to be had with that. I’m not talking Bart Simpson crank call things either; you can do a lot better then that. Writing in the name of the cashier, the name of the chef, or the name of the cashier at 1101 which is 15 feet away are just some of the many examples. Creative use of pronouns. Writing in things like Forgetful, or absent, then not collecting. Also ridiculously over the top supervillan style names. Things like “The Evil Lord Slash-Stab” or “Doctor Raven Dark-Talon Blood.”

This is probably going to be one of those things that I never actually do, but it’s a great source of deviant creativity.

A word from our sponser

I love these guys. I'm not sure how I feel about their product, but I love their commericals.

Infinity +1

Nuclear engineering goes on to the potential carrear pile. Interesting, well paying, limited competion, potential military applications (military=money), numerous non military applications (nuclear power FTW)

I wonder if UW has a Nuclear engineering major

Edit: Nope. They've got some post grad stuff but no 4-5 year stuff.


It just occurred to me that I’ve gradually started swearing more in this blog. When I first started this one I toned it down immensely. I used to keep a blog before this one existed that had my full breadth of profanity in it, but I stopped keeping that one a little bit after this one started. I didn’t feel the need.

At this point I think it’s worth discussing my general feelings on profanity itself. I’m not opposed to it in any way, I don’t mind when those around me use it, and I use some of the less severe expletives in an almost casual way. I have a policy of saving up significant ones not so much because I think there’s anything wrong with them but because they lose their intensity if they’re overused. I share the general view that profanity is overused in modern discourse, but unlike most I don’t’ think this because I have anything against profanity (I can express the most vile intent without using any profane words, and so too can I say something fairly harmless while using numerous profane words) I just think we need to have a selection of words that are significant. Words that people reserve for matters of extreme emotion. I’ll also admit that I don’t always adhere to this policy, there’s probably some correlation between it and the general stress level I have but I don’t care enough right now to make any theories on it.

It’s also worth note that I’m dramatically opposed to censorship. Particularly censorship by an outside body.

The F-C-C won’t let me be or let me be me so let me see. They tried to shut me down on M-TV but it feels to empty without me”-Eminem

I also probably won’t censor myself here any more then I am now. It’s really more of a passive observation then it is any kind of self criticism, which is rare because I’m full of self criticism.

Delta Suck = +7

Sweet Release. Let me explain.

Does it seem to anyone else that that’s always the first phrase of my blog entries? Or the third or so? I credit it to being so introspective (self centered) that I can say something that’s a complete thought or story to me, and me alone, in less then a sentence. To tell anyone else, anyone who doesn’t know the Vulcan mind meld anyway, (Vulcan? They had death grip and neck pinch… I’m not sure if mind meld was theirs… Gah! Tangents!) I have to explain further.

Anyway. I’ve come to a sort of windfall in math. Prior to now I was redoing end of the year precalculus, beginning of the year regular calculus stuff. Limits, instantaneous rate of change with derivatives, and logarithms. I hate them. I hate them so much. To quote Kevin who'se quoting some anime guy who's name I don't remember "I hate them in the face." I’m not a big fan of the rest of the stuff either, but I feel relieved not from having anything actually lifted from me, but from having a much lighter burden. I’m finally allowed to look at the problem and answer it in the same way. I don’t mind having to write out all the steps when all the steps make sense. What am I saying? That’s not true. I’m comparatively less annoyed having to write out all the steps when all the steps make sense. Right now though I’m reveling in my comparative frustration. I may only have gone from negative ten to negative three but Delta pain is still positive seven. I just have to restrain myself from adding the word bitch or the phrase “choke on it” to the phrase “power rule” in my play by play of the Dark Lord Kalkoulose’s latest horrid creation.

More Idle Ranting on a subject that will not release me

What ever happened to being a pharmacist? I like the idea when I think about it, and while I’m not sure how good the money is it seems like a job that should pay well.

it doesn’t require much more math then I already have, a lot of science in the chemistry and biology fields. I like it, add it to the infinite maybe pile.

I’m also thinking about politics again. I flirt with the idea of aspiring to some political position every now and then. The key problem is that I’m not sure how one achieves it. Being politically minded, and being involved with your local party are certainly key things, but degree wise it’s unclear. The obvious answer is political science, but if it really is more of a ladder thing I may be better off being a clerk with a law degree and clawing my way up from there.

One thought that does seem constructive is that if I do stick with the sciences it’ll probably be in a less mechanical field. Biology or neurochemistry. I feel like adding psychology to that list but it seems like something that hasn’t quite passed the bar of being definitively a science. Not purely an art form, but not quite science. Grey area.

I also still think the thing I’d enjoy most would be writer, but I’m just too much of a cynic to be an English major. Every time I think about that the part of me that’s responsible for keeping a harsh truth world view just laughs at me.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Boredom = Creativity - Reason

I was poking around in my D&D book and I thought about making a monk. Chok-a-kahn of the Wu-Tang school of martial arts. I kept thinking of diffrent ways I could form Wu-Tang clan lyrics into bits of wisdom.

Other party member: You know 'kahn, you're awfully quick to loot for someone who dosn't use much gear.
Chockakahn: True, but the Wu-Tang teaches the value of material wealth. For is it not written "Cash rules everything around us. Cream, get the money, dolla dolla bill yall"?

Sentient NPC Enemy: Fools! you shall all die
Chockakahn: This one has much to learn in the ways of fear. For is it not written "Wu Tang clan ain't nothin to fuck with?"

Other party member: Hey! 'kahn get back here!
Chockakahn: Your courage will be the death of. Are we not taught that "It's real on the streets son, gotta protect ya neck"

Time spent without enough motivation to do any work, but with an excess of D&D books and newly pirated Wu-Tang music.


I’ve had one test in each of the hard subjects now, and I’ve finally learned something that I think I was probably told once.

Tests are Murlocs.

Let me explain. Back in world of warcraft there were all kinds of enemies to fight, and over time you learned that each type fought a little differently. Bandits run at 20% health, skeletons fear when attack by groups, demons curse them melee or use fire magic etc. Murlocs were different thought. Murlocs came at you from crazy far away, fought with amazing tenacity, had a wide and varied skill set, called allies, and were just generally annoying. There were tricky little pricks who knew just how to screw you over.

Homework tends to be like fighting regular creatures. Not easy, but not aggravatingly tricky. Tests, however, are murlocs.


I'm full of clever evil. Why do I say that? I find that during the course of any given day on at least one occasion I think of something I could do which would be really funny, but incredibly mean/offensive. I think this is the basic definition of deviant. I essentially never do any of these things, but I feel some of them are worth recording.

A bible study group flyer by the Lander elevator reads:


The urge to add the phrase "Two out of three ain't bad" to that is overpowering.

There was a demonstration a while ago where dozens of pink and blue flags were placed in the grass near the HUB. After they were all placed a sign reading something along the lines of "20% of our generation has been aborted" was placed.
I had a sharpie on me at the time, and it would be a lot funnier if the sign read "20% of our generation has been aborted, suckers."

They've posted a dangers of alcohol thing on one of the boards in the hallway. It includes a Blood alcohol level chart for drinks/time. I'm really tempted to go circle one of the higher numbers and write in the phrase "High Score!"

Once again, I'm going to do any of these things, but you must admit they would be funny.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

A rant on online games

This is going to be a very “Max can’t sleep so he’s writing down his thoughts for no good reason” kind of post, so if you’re not interested in the subject feel free to skip it. This one won’t be on the quiz. With that out the way I’m going a’ranting.

Online games. Let me say first and foremost that the key aspect of the game is something that will always be out of the game makers’ control, the people. The people you game with can make or break any game you play. This is particularly true because of group play. While there can be all kinds of fun playing solo in one of these games group play is almost always better. I love being a being of unstoppable arcane power, but it’s nice to know that there’s someone with armor and a shield that can stand in front of me while I work my magic. And everyone loves healers. They’re like crack.

Anyway. Certain games have, I feel, better realized what this means to the game and put in some systems to help with it. The best example of this is the City of Heroes friend finder. Friend finder shows everyone in the area who is looking for a group, their level, and their class (archetype in that game but you get the message). It’s a shame that CoH was the one that did it so well too, because CoH is the one where it’s least necessary to have a specific group setup. The beauty of that game was its simplicity, so a group of 9 of anything could bring major pain. I’m glad to say that D&D online will have a similar function, as I saw in the 3 day preview event. That’s going to be a critical part of the game, and save countless hours of standing yelling “LF Cleric, Level 5+ PST”

Once you get past the people aspect I’ve found that the next most defining thing about the game is the complexity. This can very immensely. The simpler games tend to have a wider appeal and a bigger initial entertainment while a more complex system makes for a richer long term experience. This is where I bring up my old addiction, World of Warcraft. The first thing to know is that WoW was made by blizzard, a company which has a “hand of Midas” like effect on everything they do. Everything they do is also delayed, but once the product has come out its quality tends to make everyone forget the wait. WoW is on the simpler side of MMORPGS, which was a breath of fresh air to everyone who’d ever gotten to level 50 in everquest, died, and had to run for three hours to collect their corpse only to have to repeat the process over and over in order to not lose all of their level 50 gear. It also made it more widely accessible to people who wouldn’t normally play that kind of thing. The key reason I brought up WoW though is because its complexity was dynamic. It started off fairly simple but as you progressed gradually became more and more complex. This gave a greater feel of the leveling because as your character got more advanced so did you play style. It wasn’t just sneak ambush sinister strike eviscerate. It was sneak cheap shot, gouge, backstab, kidney shot, backstab, backstab, riposte, eviscerate. Etc. There are all kinds of other things I could point out but it would take forever and I don’t really care.

Another key aspect of these games is the grind. The critics of EQ back in the day when that was the only one out there gave the key argument that basically you’re hitting things with a stick to get a bigger stick to hit bigger things with. In essence what you were doing was a complex form of running on treadmill. I understood this, but was still entertained by the game. I have some theories on how all of life is more or less the same thing, but I’ll pos those later. Nearly every game has this same problem. City of Heroes is once again the best example because while it was visually spectacular, and the one game that made you have a true sense of being super. For example: I’m going to fly into the middle of that pack of gangsters, punch their leader knocking him back 20 feet, spin kick the rest, radiate negative energy to destroy the minions and then use my heat vision on the boss. The problem was that while that was awesome, and new powers added new flavor to it, it wasn’t that amusing on the 100th pack of said mobsters. Wow has the unique advantage of having an advanced quest system which doesn’t actually remove the treadmill, but disguises it. Quests give so much more XP then grinding, and are so abundant that you don’t have to grind at all until later levels. This is if you accept the “Go kill 10 of each type of gnoll and report back” quest as not grinding. The only game I’ve seen which has actually done away with it is D&D online. In DDO you don’t xp for killing monsters. You only get experience points for completing quests. I liked the game during my 3 days of it, and I didn’t have any problems with the system it used then, but I’m going to need further testing before I can give a real verdict.

Hmm. Yeah I’m done ranting for now. Probably more later.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Tuna Helper

I didn't end up taking a mental health day today, and I'm beginging to think that maybe I should've. Let me offer you the following into my "Max is going crazy" pile.

I was making Tuna Helper. I got 1 box from Mom, liked it, and went to safeway with the intent of buying a few more. If nothing else I had two cans of Tuna and one box of helper, so I had an extra can of tuna. We'll they were having a "Buy 4 get a crazy good price" deal on Tuna, and a "Buy 10 get a crazy good price" deal on Tuna Helper. I wasn't feeling particularly... well Sane that day, so I bought 10 boxes of Tuna helper. It's worth note that 10 boxes of helper takes up my entire food storage area.

Anyway, I was making one today and the following thought occured to me.
Whoever invented this stuff had balls
What am I talking about you ask?
Look if someone had come up to me and said:
"Max, you know how we boil sauce to reduce it to a good concistency? And how we boil noodles to make them all nice and delicious? I'm gonna do those in the same water."
I would've said:
"Forchini, you're crazy."
Forcini: Hey man don't be hatin
Max: Dude think about it, you'll never get the ratio right.
Forcini: You'll see max. I'll show you! *runs away in tears*

6 months later

Forcini: *Enters holding a box* Hey max!
Max: What?
Forcini: Check the box bitch.
Max: It'll never work
Forcini: Oh yeah? Get me some tuna. *Max cooks along with the instructions* Adds the water, and milk, and the butter. Now the packages. Now just straight fry it.
Max: Straight Fry?
Forcini: Straight Fry.
Max: This'll never work.
Forcini: Just turn the dial to 5 and stir damnit

The Soup gradually reduced into pre-sauced pasta.

Forcini: WHAT!? Whats that? Did I just blow your mind!?

It was around the time I got to that thought that I was done making the acutal Tuna helper. But as I was walking back I figured it was time to put another notch on the "Max is crazy" pole. On a related note that pole is going to be just notches soon.